Memories Stronger Than Gods
by Lolita Rafane
Summary: Spain did something stupid. In order to fix things, he was forced to let go of something important to him. With a dark force interfering with his progress, it seemed that he was driven away from his original goal, blinded by his weak heart. Sadly, the only thing to guide him were false desires too.
1. Ch 1 False Hope

Title : Memories Stronger Than Gods

Chapter 1 : False Hope

"A perfect day!"

Wrong. It wasn't perfect at all. The sun began to hide under the thin line of the horizon. The night painted the sky dark blue, finally revealing the constellations above.

One spaniard smiled sheepishly at himself while holding a bouquet of roses, red as they are, enough to make anyone smile, hopefully…

"Ehehe… Romano would be super angry, won't he…?" said the spaniard to himself. He promised a date with a young italian man that afternoon, but it was already night time.

11:39 to be exact.

Around 10 hours late, he still walked slowly towards the place they promised to meet - The Colosseum. The spaniard hummed along his footsteps as his boots walked in rhythm on the wet puddles. The cold, damp air made his nose slightly red, but he didn't mind. It must've rained hard just now. The smell of rain that lingered in the air yet to disappear.

"Maybe it rained a lot hours ago. I woke up late this afternoon, missed my flight and now I have water in my boots… Hahaha… It can't get any worse than this."

10 hours late. Yet, he walked slow. He didn't expect to see anyone at that late hour. He knew very well, too well, that promised italian will not wait for him even if he is only 5 minutes late. Let alone 10 hours.

Little droplets of rain started to fall again. The thin gray clouds fooled the spaniard, making him thought that it won't rain any heavier than what was already pouring. Even with that, he didn't feel like running or finding any shelter. His clothes were soaked by the time he reached the gates of the Colosseum.

With the gate locked, he was forced to break in.

The place was a bit misty due to the rain earlier. When he tilted his head slightly up to see the beautiful sky coated with thin gray clouds, he saw someone sitting on the highest peak of the Colosseum. The person was looking up the sky with an opened umbrella in hand.

Almost immediately, he noticed the familiar curl.

_ Romano waited for me even though it's this late?_

The spaniard can't shake that thought out of his mind. He forcefully blinked back his tears and ran up the stairs as fast as he could. He reached out to grab the sitting young man, only to get his heart sink in disappointment.

"Ve~ Spain? I thought you'll never come! I waited and waited, but nobody came…"

Indeed a disappointment.

"Oh… Italy…" croaked Spain. "What are you doing here in the middle of the night?" That was the only thing he could think of at that moment. Italy gave him a sudden sour look. He even looked away to avoid eye-contact with Spain.

"Italy… What's wrong…?"

"You should ask that question to my brother… He sat here for who-knows how long…"

"Here…?" Spain felt a jolt of regret running up his spine, tearing his heart apart.

"His boss called me. Romano didn't come home even though it's 9 pm. And it was raining heavily since lunch time too. I flew here from Venezia to find him sitting here under the rain."

The spaniard tried not to tremble as he asked Italy a question he dared not to listen for the answer. "What happened to Romano…?"

"He was shivering and alone when I found him… _Fratello_ must've waited out here for hours and hours without moving. I wanted to take him back home, but he insisted on staying until…" Italy breathed in and out. He wanted to at least calm down so that he won't get anything wrong. "...until you come and pick him up…"

Romano waited for him even though it rained that heavily. Knowing that wasn't a relief. It was a slap that made his heart shrink with regret. He gulped before croaking another question.

Useless and stupid. Were questions the only thing he was capable of voicing out? "Where is he now…?"

"I forced him to go back home while I stay here and wait for you, which he did, actually, considering that he wasn't in much of a state to fight back. I doubt anyone won't fall sick after sitting in the cold rain for hours…" Italy snapped back to his usual cheerful self and gave Spain a cute childish smile, successfully making him smiled back. "Ve~ Brother seemed so pissed. But he'll be back to normal by tomorrow! Check him out only then will you, Spain?"

He didn't need Italy to say that to him. Romano was sick in bed and he ruined their date. Of course he needed to visit him. But looking at that smiling italian didn't gave him the heart to yell at him. "So, Italy? What are you going to do now?"

"I need to take a flight to Japan. The last plane would probably arrive around 1 in the morning. So I must go now or else I have to wait for the 8 am flight. I promised Germany that we would spend the rest of our tomorrow together at Japan's place!"

"I… I see… Goodbye then…"

Italy made his way down the Colosseum just by skipping down the seats for the spectators. As he stood before the exit, he turned around to yell something to Spain. "Take care of my big brother, ok?!" The italian left before Spain could give him a reply.

Spain just stood there, clueless of what to do. He froze there for a few minutes before he remembered something Italy just told him. He got out of the Colloseum as fast as he can, ignoring the noises he made when he knocked something over. He ran like a madman towards a place he knew very well. Everything around seemed so fuzzy and blurry, but one thing stood clear in his mind.

_ I must see Romano! Now!_

After a series of running, he finally reached he doorstep of the italian. He bust himself in, breaking the door in the process. He ran up the stairs and rushed into the master room of the floor. Relief filled his heart when the prince he was searching for was; safe and sound in bed.

"Romano… Your brother told me that you're sick… I just want to know if you're alright…"

Romano's eyes shot open immediately after hearing Spain's voice. The small whisper was enough to wake him from slumber. The sick italian's eyes were red, skin paler than usual. Spain approached him slowly, only to be yelled by him.

"_Pezzo di merda! Che cazzo_! You fucking lied to me, Spain! You lied to me!"

"Roma… I'm so sorry about-"

"You're so clueless! Can't you even read the situation?! YOU left me out there waiting pointlessly, yet you have the guts to show your face here?! Dammit! And I'm forced to accept help from my little brother too! Che!" His eyes teared up slightly.

"Oh, Roma… Is there any way I can make it up to you? I can take you to dinner or something? Just the two of us! Ah! Lets make it afternoon since it probably won't rain!"

Even in his weakened state, Romano jumped out of his bed furiously and delivered a slap onto Spain's cheek. For a fraction of a second, their skins meet, Spain could feel how cold Romano's hand was, yet they burned like hellfire.

"Fuck you and your fucking problems! I don't want to hear another thing from you! For the first time, I put my hopes up for you! And what did you do?! You fucking left me! You fucking left me out there alone! I…! I HATE YOU MORE HAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD, BASTARD!"

It was normal for Romano to yell at him in the face, a thousand times maybe. But never once did any of the arguments involve tears from both sides. Spain couldn't stop the tears in his eyes and the italian was in no better shape. Battling illness and a broken heart was not a battle he can win.

Spain didn't cry because of the yelling. He did so because he just realized that he disappointed Romano countless of times. And that night, he crossed the line. He had no idea that their promised date meant so much for him. "I'm sorry, Roma… I'm so, so sorry…" was the only thing he could say.

"GET OUT OF HERE! DON'T EVER COME BACK EVER AGAIN, YOU JERK! GO TO HELL!"

Spain's whole body felt numb. His eyes empty as he remembered exactly how many times he disappointed Romano in the past and how many times Romano cried because of him. He just realized that he had repeated his same mistake towards Romano. He just realized how Romano truly felt about his actions. He just realized, his love for Romano only gave him nothing but torture. He smiled sheepishly while scratching the back of his head.

"I… understand now… Haha… I didn't realize that I'm such a jerk to you, Romano… Took me long enough to realize… Hahaha… Man… That hit me real hard… Ahaha… Ahaha… I'm so sorry, Romano… I really am…"

Something about Spain's voice frightened Romano. He began to feel a bit bad for yelling at him. He should at least listen to his reasons, no matter how unreasonable they were.

"Ahaha… You're right… I should leave now, right…? You need rest… So I'll leave you alone'''"

"Wait! S-Spain! I didn't mean what I said…! I guess I got angry and -"

"That's quite ok, Roma! I'll go stay with France! He said he'll be staying here for a few days for business! So… See you when you get well, Romano!" It was obvious. Spain was desperate to leave the place. In just the matter of seconds, Romano was all alone in that hollow mansion.

"That jerk… I really didn't mean anything that I said… _Cazzo… Cazzo, bastardi… Cazzo_…!" With Romano's body at limit, his legs no longer able to maintain his stability. It was only a fall to the floor, but what he felt at that moment was intense. His vision quietly and slowly leaving his eyes, breathing became deeper and faster. He felt odd. He knew he was weak as a country, but not to that extent, right? He laid there for a few minutes, struggling to keep his breathing steady. The room seemed bigger somehow, as if he was disappearing.

_ I have a bad feeling about this…_

Lightning struck outside. Thunder made things worse. That very moment, Romano began coughing endlessly. He really felt funny, and not because of the fever.

_ It was something else._

He dragged his body slowly towards his phone on the bed, speed-dialed the first number in his list. Sadly, he didn't have any energy left in his weak, trembling body. The phone was no longer in his grip.

"_Ciao_…?" A cheerful yet nervous voice sounded from the device.

_ Something is wrong…_

All his senses to the world ended. He cannot feel anything, hear anything. Before he knew it, he lost conscience.

.

The spaniard felt awkward as he made his way out of Romano's mansion. A small part of his heart told him to turn around and run back upstairs. He dared not to do so, only froze outside the doorstep of the mansion.

Out of the shadow, a brown cat with blue and white ribbon around its neck slowly came out. It tilted its head towards Spain and made a sleepy-like meow sound.

"I didn't remember Roma keeping a cat before." Spain crouched slightly down to touch the cat.

It must've been other's pet that found its way to Romano's garden. The cat's fur was a mess, probably covered with dirt too. One long fur that curled apart two ways stood out from the rest. Somehow, the cat reminded him of someone. He didn't let the matter linger in his mind for long.

"Mr Cat… Do you think I'm a jerk…? I made someone special to me cry again today…"

The brown mysterious creature gazed its emerald eyes towards the spaniard, silent and focused as if it was waiting for an explanation. Spain sighed and looked up the crying sky, praying.

"If there really is someone up there who is listening… All I ask is for a chance to deliver my true feelings for Romano…"

The cat mewed once before disappearing into the shadows of a nearby bush. Spain admired the beauty of the italian's garden, too beautiful to ignore, emphasized by the dewdrops hanging onto the tips of the leaves, falling down to the wet soil in seconds flat.

Just like his hope.

A hope for change… A false hope that will lose its grip in the end.

Unable to climb back up and claim a place in an admirer's eyes.

The rain slowly gained power as it released all its bottled up tears in one go. People say that the rain will be your friend when you're sad. But it was different for Spain. It was a song of mockery.

He got up to his feet, his inner voice shouted for him to run forward. Depression set in. The cat must've left him because he was a total jerk. The rain mocked him of his loss. In the end, he did the only thing that the situation allowed him to do - sprint forward, never look back.

Spain wasn't running towards the hotel France was staying at. He simply ran forward. Anywhere doesn't matter as long as he can get further away from the young italian whom he hurt. Eyes closed the entire time, hoping to forget at least a speck of his regret.

The sound of screeching tyres on the wet road made Spain stop on the sidewalk, just inches away from the actual path of fast-moving vehicles. It seemed that a truck was out of control due to the slippery road and was unable to brake. He was sure that if he didn't stop half a second ago, he might end up somewhere he shouldn't. Of course, he felt grateful for having his life saved from a disaster, but that didn't save his aching heart.

Just them, a single lightning struck the sky. The thunder was loud enough for everyone to feel the vibrations from the ground.

_ Something is wrong… Something is…_

The world stopped spinning as he felt a strong push from the back that forced his body to cross the boundary of the sidewalk. Far too late to get away, the truck sent his body rolling quite a distance away. He can't move any parts of his body no matter how hard he tried.

Fresh blood and rose petals everywhere. The scattered roses that was supposed to be the present for Romano became the dramatic icing for the night as people gathered around to watch.

Before losing sight of everything, a figure with a brown jacket over his shoulders smiled coldly at the dying spaniard. Was he the one that made him limping on the ground?

It pained too much to even gasp for air.

People around reached out to help him. Someone grabbed his wrist to search for his pulse. After that, he didn't know what happened as his conscience died out.

_ Please… All I want is a single chance to..._

* * *

**A/N : Wow... This is the third time I edited this chapter. Ans still, something felt wrong. I blame my lame writing skills though. **  
**Oh yeah... Do you believe in the red string of fate? I won't mention it in later chapters, so I'll say it now. Lovi and Spain's strings were actually forcefully cut on the night of this chapter. That's why they felt weird.**


	2. Ch 2 Cursed

Title : Memories Stronger Than Gods

Chapter 2 : Cursed

The wonderful sounds of raining droplets echoed throughout the room, synchronized with the ticking of the grandfather clock, counting every second alone in the hallways of the mansion. The whole mansion could be classified as 'ancient', something that should remain only in history, making way for the new generations, but the place was too beautiful to let go. Even in it's age, everything was perfect, made by the hands of a great empire. One would not mind waking up in a place like that, especially if you're the prince that lived there. And with great grace, the cries of nature outside woke the prince up.

Romano found himself in bed with a new change of clothes. Judging by the shadows casted by the light outside, it was probably around noon. Someone must've carried him back to bed and cleaned whatever mess made from yesterday. One name slipped out of his breath. "Veneziano…"

It was obviously him. Who else was there willing enough to be by his side? He felt a clench in his stomach. He remembered his younger brother telling him about a date with his sweetheart in Japan. Romano knew the airport schedule well. Coming to help him would risk the chance to board the last flight available to Japan. For all the times his brother helped him, he did nothing but becoming a burden everywhere he go. Just to make sure he wasn't a total heartless jerk, he searched around for his phone and called his dear little brother. He didn't expect his call to be answered though. Italy was probably in the middle of his flight to Japan.

"_Ciao, fratello_…?"

"Veneziano?"

"_Si_?"

"You're the one that helped me when I blacked out last night, right?"

"_S… Si_… Are you angry…? I'm sorry if -"

"Thank you…" Romano broke Italy's sentence before he could finish his apology. "Thank you, Veneziano. And sorry. I ruined your date with that potato bastard, didn't I…?" He really became soft when it comes to matters like this since he knew the pain of an unfulfilled promise.

"Nah… Your health is more important than one tiny date that we can do another day! _Nonno_ told me that we should care about those that came only once in a lifetime. Who knows when we will lose them for good one day. So we should hold on to them as long as we can, and embrace them! Oh! Germany and I decided to travel to Switzerland since it's close. He's right beside me, you see."

"Fine… Get back to your potato bastard… " Romano immediately cut the conversation as he switched his phone off. He didn't want to receive any calls from anyone at that moment. He buried himself back to bed as wept silently. The impact from yesterday hadn't disappear completely. Even one word of last night's fight hurt. His mind filled with whispers of regret. It was too much torture that he even considered taking his own life on the very spot with his gun, but found no courage to do so. He recited a silent prayer to himself, though he lost his faith a long time ago.

"God… At least make me stronger to face this shit…"

That used to make him feel better, but not anymore. Instead of feeling lifted, he felt something heavy in heart, a feeling as if his heart was squeezed into a small box only to be thrown into the drowning sea.

.

"Spain! Lets go through the tomato field together! Spain… Spain!"

A sweet youthful voice echoed throughout the white empty existed there, not even a single shadow. A certain spaniard stood there motionless as the sweet voice filled his thoughts.

"Spain! Happy Birthday! Now… Let me sing you a birthday song! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthed… t… ou… Ha… the… t… Sp… in…! H… py… irth… to… u…!" The sweet voice faded out until nothing can be heard.

"Wait… Who are you…? Please don't go! Hey! Please!" The spaniard grew desperate as he reached out for that faded voice. "Do I know you…?"

"Sp… in…! _Chi… vediamo_…!"

He felt an intense pain in his head. Attempting to reduce the pain, he howled, only to make it harder for him to keep his stance. Painfully reaching for whatever nothingness was out there, a single hand grabbed his grip. In an instant, warmth and harmony filled his body and soul. Very slowly, he opened his eyes.

"_Mon ami_… Don't make me worry sick like that ever again!" said a man with visible stubble and beautiful wavy golden hair. His eyes blue and deep, just like a sorcerer that can hypnotize anyone into his possession. "Spain… I know you're clueless in every situation, but at least listen to me when I say-"

"I'm sorry…" smiled the spaniard to the man. "Who are you again?"

A shock came to the golden-haired man. " Are you serious? We've been the Bad Trio since forever ago, together with Prussia! … France! I'm the country of love, France!"

Silence filled the room for a few minutes until the spaniard finally snapped in excitement. " Ah! France, _mi amigo_! Ahaha! Maybe I hit my head somewhere when I- I… What did I do…? What happened to me…? Ah! Most importantly, who am I?"

"Stop messing around, Spain. How can you remember me and don't know who you are?"

"You… You're… Francis Bonnefoy… And… Spain… I'm Antonio…?" The spaniard tried so hard to remember any bit of information in his memory. He rubbed the back of his head slowly. For unknown reasons, he cannot make eye contact with France, only gazed down the pure white bed sheet in front of him. "_Amigo_… What happened to me? Where am I?"

The french sighed as he sat beside the spaniard. They didn't realized that they were holding hands. France never hated Spain. When he saw this, he left things as they were. Spain seemed to need all the support he could get. From the moment France noticed their hands together, he prayed for that single hold to be enough to even lift a little trouble off Spain's shoulders. Telling him what happened was not an easy task. He felt his throat choke a few times before he could speak. "Antoine… You're now in the best hospital in France… They transferred you here right after your condition stabilized. How can I put this…? You're… hit… by a truck. And yes, you bleed like a freak. I heard a commotion and found out it was you." France was unsure if everything he said was correct. Remembering the sight of one of your best friend dying in a pool of blood traumatized him, especially if it happened just yesterday night. "We as countries get back on our feet in no time, but our people will feel it's effect!"

"I… I see… Ahaha… So… What should I do now?" Not even a speck of intimidation felt in his heart. He let France's word flutter out of his mind like a butterfly. The sun outside smiled upon the spaniard through the window, which made him smiled back. "A beautiful day, isn't it?"

Once again, France sighed. "Do you know how serious you problem is?"

No response. Only the sound of the old ceiling fan could be heard, spinning endlessly that doesn't make much of a difference around.

"You can resume your work in Italy, Antoine-"

"I believe that is not a wise choice, Mr Bonnefoy. Mr Carriedo is better left… unexposed… for now… A sudden encounter with something might make him remember things wrongly." voiced a doctor who just entered the room. "As far as we experts examined him, he suffered serious memory loss. But we've never seen someone that can recover pieces of memory in a short time. Sadly, this is what we're afraid of."

"So you're keeping him locked away from the whole world? That's insane! He is an important man-"

"It's for his own good, Mr Bonnefoy… Besides, him not attending some work won't affect others much, right?"

The tone that the doctor used pissed France very much. Unfortunately, countries cannot reveal their true existence to the lights of human society. So in the end, all France did was keeping his mouth shut.

In the midst of all tension in the atmosphere, Spain smiled, feeling a small glimpse of happiness in his heart. "Very lively here, isn't it?"

.

A hooded figure gazed the scenery stretched out in front of him as he sat on the highest column in an unknown ruin. Little did he matter about the walls that slowly crumbled down to dust around him. Like a mother telling a story to her young, the man spoke to the emptiness around him in a great voice.

"As the man cursed by the Gods smiled, the dictators around forbid him to walk on the lands of the earth. This very man, blinded since birth, have no possible way of seeing the cursed chains of irony spiraling and focusing to him and him alone. Even so, that one cursed man smiled, radiating his heart that told the world of his satisfied and sorrow-less life, but in truth, barely able to hang on. He did not know the blessing he felt in his mind, nor did he realize the coming whispers of revelation."


	3. Ch 3 Betrayal

Title : Memories Stronger Than Gods

Chapter 3 : Betrayal

"Indulge yourself in history this time, because some will never repeat itself no matter how foolish human philosophy may be…"

"That is certainly interesting. What happens next?"

"The betrayal of a mirror."

.

A month had passed without any news from Spain. Other countries were worried, but only one fell into depression. Recent news shown how terrible the economy and politics were in Spain. Certain diplomatic meetings cancelled due to the absence of a representative. Even so, the people lived together in happiness, almost as if they faced absolutely no difficulty.

"_Fratello… Fratello_!" called a young italian while knocking the door softly. "Ve~ May I come in?"

"Get lost, dammit!"

The door slowly opened. The older of the two brothers cursed under his breath. "Veneziano! I told you to get lost!".

Without any attempt to say anything in return, Italy sat beside his brother on the bed. Strangely enough, Romano did not yell or breathe out a single word of mockery. He folded his legs close to his chest and buried his face weakly in his arms. Of course, Italy was worried of his brother's sudden out-of-character manner. He shoved himself closer to him, expecting to be yelled at like usual. But no. Silence was his answer even though their shoulders touched.

Minutes went by and Italy felt that he had to make space for his brother's grief. He slowly crawled out of the bed but stopped before he could stand. Romano was holding onto his sleeve, refusing to let the younger italian go.

"Ve~ _Fratello_? I have to go and see Germany now."

Staring at his brother's eyes, Romano finally released his grip. "If you're supposed to be with that potato bastard, why are you here?", his tone getting upset by the second.

Italy's smile dropped as he opened his eyes. His heart was in doubt; whether to answer or to pretend he knew nothing and act stupid. He finally reached into his pocket and took out a brown envelope. The edges were slightly crippled. Romano just stared at the brown object as Italy handed it out for him.

He knew he had to take the envelope, but somehow his heart screamed for him to shot off.

_ Anything is better than right now._

Hoping that his decision will not bring forth future regrets, he feistily grabbed the envelope from his brother's weak hands. The texture and color of the envelope, he knew right away the content of the letter. Somehow, he was disappointed, expecting the content of the envelope carrying even the slightest information about Spain's condition. Good or bad news does not matter as long as he knew how Spain was at that moment. "Of all the fucks the world can give, why must it be a stupid conference meeting…?"

"Ve~ It's okay if you're feeling tired… I can go alone." said Italy, making sure his footsteps were as silent as possible just so his brother wouldn't feel provoked. He made his way to the door.

Italy turned around one last time to look at his brother. He cannot help but to feel somewhat depressed. Maybe this had something to do with both of them being one Italy. Even if that was true, it would take a lot for him to feel anything.

And just like that, Italy left his older brother with a sealed envelope in hand.

"A meeting… Fuck you for making me expect something, Veneziano…" mumbled Romano to the empty air while tearing the envelope open without much care.

Indeed a normal meeting invitation. He briefly read through everything in one glance. His face expressionless throughout the whole time, until one word in the 'Confirmed Attendance' list caught his every attention. He read it again, thoroughly, and again to make sure nothing was mistaken.

_[ 4) SPAIN ]_

It was not a doubt anymore. After one month of disappearance from the world, he could finally meet him, hear his voice, see his innocent and sincere smile. In his thoughts, Romano started plotting ways for him to demand for Spain's explanation. Most were wicked in their own ways and some might provoke more trouble. But a smile laid unnoticed on his face. "That jerk…"

.

Sitting on a white bench outside while the brilliant sun shone upon him, one german gazed around the open nature of the garden. "For someone who is impolite and cowardly, he sure has a nice garden." said the german to himself, his face frowning and fierce as always.

"Ve! Germany!". Italy jumped and wrapped his arms around the Germany's neck from behind. Germany's intimidation overpowered the radiance all things beautiful and warm around.

The italian released the other's the other from his tight hug. "V-ve…! Germany is scary…! Wah! Don't hurt me…!". He popped a white flag out of nowhere and wave it around furiously. With the wind blowing slightly rough, the edges of the cloth from his flag lightly brushed the bizarre curl sticking out of his hair. "Hya…! Ger… many… Somebody just…". The young italian blushed as he felt an electrical sensation buzzing all over his body.

In the german's eyes, it was something to scold about. But for that very moment, all he could do was to look away as he himself felt all flushed. "How on earth did I fall for this idiot…?"

.

"Oi! Veneziano! Get your ass out of that place! We're leaving in ten minutes!" Romano was screaming from the hallway. He popped his head from the border of the door to see just how far Italy had prepared himself for the meeting. Seeing the younger italian still in his night time boxers pushed his patience to the edge. "Wha…?! _Cazzo_! Why are you still in that shit?!" He march into the room and helped him dress into his usual blue military uniform. "Now, go down and have your fucking breakfast!"

Still feeling a bit sleepy, Italy rubbed his eyes to keep himself awake. "Ve… _Fratello_… The meeting is still hours and hours away… ". He felt ticklish when his brother touched his bare skin. "_Fratello's_ hands are soft! Very ticklish!" said Italy, followed by a childish giggle.

"Shut up…" Romano growled with a faint ghostly smile carved lowly on his face. It was rare for him to smile in front of his brother. He mildly shove his fingers through Italy's hair after he finished the whole task. "There! Go downstairs and have your breakfast. And get our paperwork ready afterwards too."

The meeting this time would take place in France. It will take a few hours of flight from Rome. Romano chirped happily as he left his younger brother alone in the room.

Italy just stared when the other italian left him, feeling quite confused for his sudden change of mood, yet he was happy to see his brother's rare smile, the smile that was sincerely crafted from his heart. "Anything goes as long as _Fratello_ is happy~"

.

A few minutes after the two italians' plane landed, Italy ran to the exit and skipped down the exiting stairs tow steps at a time. "Wah! Brother France's place sure is amazing! And lots of _bella_ too! _Ciao_~" waved the italian to a few female airport staff around.

Looking at his brother's outbreak of joy, Romano cannot help but to smile himself. "That bastard _fratellino_… Che… I'll make today as an exception…" muttered the older italian when he walked down the exiting stairs of the plane, breathing in the fresh air of the french atmosphere as soon as he set foot on land.

The weather was perfect. The sun was up, white fluffy clouds were proportionally everywhere. Strokes of wind nullifies the afternoon heat. Truly a bless day. Hopefully, everything will remain the same. Not a slight hint of dark cloud in the sky. No wars were happening around. Chances of the day turning bad was zero. At least… that was what everyone believed.

Both of the italians checked out of the airport and was sent straight to the hotel, escorted by the best security system France could provide. The people around looked at them in a disturbing manner. For the countries, they cannot reveal their true identities to human society. Interacting with them were always quite difficult. Italy grabbed hold of Romano's sleeve tightly every time someone glanced over.

"Ve… Why must they look at us that way…?"

"It's because they are all perverts or something… It's not everyday that they can see good-looking figures like us!". Romano held Italy closer to him. "Shit… Never mess with us italians…". He could sometimes be protective over his younger brother.

When Italy felt himself being tucked closer, he giggled. "_Fratello_! You're so nice!"

"Shut the fuck up…". Romano flicked the younger italian's forehead with his fingers. He had always been the black sheep in everyone's eyes and Italy was the angel who was constantly praised for his great perks.

Yes.

_ It was always Veneziano who gets all the blessings…_

He could not say it did not bother him, but he learned to let everything be.

The building of the hotel was fancy and well preserved. It had existed ever since the 17th century. Both the services and infrastructure were excellent, one of the best even. They chose that hotel because the meeting would take place on the top floor of that place.

"Veneziano, I'm going straight to the top floor.". Romano seemed to be in a hurry and dashed straight to the elevator.

"Ve! I'll come too! Germany asked me to meet him there as soon as we're here! W-wait!". Italy made it into the elevator before it closes. There was nobody else inside, only the two of them. "_Fratello_? You're exited to see Brother Spain again, _si_?" smiled the younger italian while leaning his back against the bars of the elevator walls.

Romano blushed red upon the question. "B-bastard! What's with the stupid question?!". He glared angrily at his brother. Italy just smiled. "Fuck… Of course I'm looking forward to meet him… He's…". He looked away, hiding his fully flushed face. "He's my boss…". The last statement was said so softly that Italy did not seemed to catch the phrase.

"Ve? Can you repeat that?".

Before Romano had the chance to say anything, the door of the elevator opened. Both of them stepped out and headed silently to the meeting hall, Romano being the one a little bit up front. When they reached the room, the older italian placed his trembling hands on the door handle and nervously opened the door.

And there he was.

Spain was there arranging some documents. Nobody else was around.

Romano's heart bloomed. All those wicked punishments he thought of fluttered out of his mind. At that very moment, all he wanted was to hold the spaniard close, feeling his heartbeat on his cheek. He walked into the room, slowly picking up the pace. Spain looked over his direction and sparked up. He stood up and ran toward's the direction of the italians. The expression on his face was like a man finally found his lost lover.

The familiar smile on the spaniard's face, coming towards him. "Spain! Do you know how much I-".

The spaniard did not even notice him when he ran past him, hugging the younger italian instead.

"Italy! I missed you so much! I'm very worried about you, you know! I've been thinking about you non-stop!"

Romano froze on the spot. Spain just completely ignored him and went over to his brother.

_ It doesn't matter… Spain always liked to have Veneziano around… It's always like that! It's impossible for Spain to actually love him…_

"V-ve… Spain… What are you doing…?". Italy tried to break the hug between him and Spain.

"What do you mean? I love you so much! You know that, right?"

_ This shit can't all be true… Veneziano can't really have that much blessing… At least Spain is still my boss… Not even Veneziano can take that away from me…_

"Aww… Come here and give boss a kiss!" Spain laid a single passionate kiss on top of Italy's trembling lips. He whispered something closely to the italian's ears, so soft that it was meant only for him and him alone. "You'll always be the only one I'll love as the boss… And I'll forever be the one and only boss for you alone."

Numb. Romano could not feel his heartbeat. He could not even hear himself breath. He walked out of the place without making much fuss or mess. He did not even run, only walk. He didn't want to turn back. Although his eyes was screeching in pain, he forced himself to keep moving forward.

As soon as he was at the lobby, he dashed out of the hotel, running like there is no tomorrow. The unfamiliar streets did not matter to him. He just want to get away from all that agony, all that disappointment, all that will remind him of his own pathetic self where he lost everything to his brother. In the midst of all that torture, his eyes did not even shed a drop of tear.

Subconsciously, he turned to an alley and leaned against the wall there. The sky suddenly turned dark and soon, it began to rain. He kept his arms crossed and sat on the wet ground, his legs folded against his chest.

"_Che cazzo, fratello… Che cazzo_…".

He stayed there for hours. The people walking by did not even pay the slightest attention. Nobody came to look for him. His mind was in a haze, barely able to think of anything. For now, he just wanted to sit there, doing absolutely nothing.

.

It was nighttime and the rain was still pouring heavily. It was impossible to tell whether if he cries or not since he didn't even make any sound or move an inch. The color of his eyes disappeared under the shadows of the night. After hours and hours of standstill, he finally heard a voice.

It was his younger brother, Italy. He was soaking wet and was panting. "_Fra… Fratello_… I was looking for you all day…".

Slightly tilting his head, Romano saw Italy looking all worried and caring.

Just like the night all of this curse began. That one specific night...

"Betrayer…" cursed the older italian under his breath.

* * *

**A/N : '4' is considered to be an unlucky number in Japan. And I subconsciously put his name in number 4 on the list. I didn't realized it until the second time I re-check this chapter.**

**Ah~ You may also skip the next chapter ( Chapter 4 ) since it tells the same thing in Chapter 3, but in N. Italy's POV-ish.**

Lol~ Poor Chapter '4'. Neglected... Another number '4'. 


	4. Ch 4 Reveal

Title : Memories Stronger Than Gods Chapter 4 : Reveal

Spain didn't even notice Romano's exit. Italy tried desperately to get out of the other's strong arms. "Italy is cute, no?" giggled the spaniard.

Tears were already in Italy's eyes when his older brother left casually without a word. He wanted to go by his _fratello's_ side, but it appeared that he was a bit too late. The elevator door shut tight, wiping off the last sight of Romano. "S-Spain!" yelled Italy. He was still struggling to break free from the spaniard's grip.

"Aww... Don't be like that, Feli... You'll kill me with your cuteness!" said Spain with a visible spark in his eyes. Attempting to place another deep, slow kiss on the italian's cherry pink lips. Italy's mind finally snapped when their wet lips were only centimeters apart.

The italian delivered a vicious slap on the spaniard's cheek. The force was so strong, the sound of that single slap vibrated loudly throughout the three halls of the meeting area. Italy was practically panting since he used up so much strength in one shot. "Ha... Ha... I said... ha... let... go...". For the first time, his eyes changed. The round brown eyes of the italian shattered to that of an assassin.

"Italia! What happened?!" One blond german rushed to the scene from one of the hallways. Seeing the poor italian shivered and panting in rage struck fear to his heart. For as long as he can remember, the german never saw Italy boiled with such blood-shot eyes. The Italy in front of him was not _his_ Italy. "_Mein Gott_... ITALIA!"

It was as if Italy lost connection to the outside world. He professionally drew out his blade from his sleeve which made Germany fall into deeper shock. For years they had been together, he knew that the only thing Italy willingly touch might bring at least a little bit harm was his innumerable white flag. Seeing the blade danced swiftly around his fingers and rested tightly in his small palm made Germany wonder... "Who are you...?"

Italy caught a glimpse of Spain's slightly swollen cheek. He snapped out of his sudden lost of control, dropping the knife on the floor, hands shaking in horror. "V-Ve...! I'm sorry! S-Spain! I'm sorry!".

Spain's cheek was still red, yet he shown no sign of pain. With his usual smile, he said sweetly, folding his hands to his back. "I never get tired of your cuteness, Italy! Maybe that's why I love you so SO much!".

Confused, the german stepped front to defend the italian, shielding him protectively from Spain. "Spain... Have you lost your mind?"

"Actually, I did..." said the spaniard while scratching the back of his head. "Ah! But of course, I didn't forget about my favorite little tomato!". The spaniard chirped innocently in front of the very intimidating german.

"Whatever it is, please settle this after the conference...". Germany seemed really furious.

"Of course there, _amigo_! I need to pile up some paperwork for boss! But before that~". Spain took a step closer to Italy. Germany stepped in the way of the smiling spaniard, stretching his arms wide to prevent the other from touching the italian. He dedicated every ounce of strength in that stance just to protect _his_ poor Italy. There was no way for Spain to get to Italy without struggle, maybe...

Effortlessly, the spaniard gently lifted Germany's arm up, allowing him to pass and place a small peck on Italy's lips. "If boss is not busy, boss will come to your room, okay? Lets have a nice long talk to catch up! I love you...!"

'_I love you... I love you…' _That was the final thing Spain said before leaving Germany and Italy alone in the hall.

Such innocent and small man lifted the german's arm like feathers. He knew that he could not protect Italy if he was to battle against Spain. A battle he'll do anything to prevent. His attention returned to Italy, tucking him immediately closer. "Italia... What happened...?"

"V-Ve... I don't know...". Italy's voice cracked, followed by faint sounds of sobs. "Germany... What happened just now won't affect the both of us, _si_? Germany is still mine, _si_?" asked the italian in desperation. He buried his face in Germany's neatly ironed uniform.

"Nothing changed, Italia...". Germany slowly patted the italian's head, reassuring him that everything will be just fine. He wished that he himself felt confident the same way he spoke.

.

After the meeting ended, Italy glanced nervously at Spain. He seemed to be too busy with his own work. France was there, pointing out works for the spaniard. Piles and piles of paperwork stacked neatly on the table. From far, it looked like Spain was being lectured by France. Italy used that opportunity to escape, pulling Germany by the sleeve and out of the conference room. "Germany...? Can you follow me for a moment...?"

The german knew exactly what happened. He followed Italy out without any question. Once they were out, both of them searched for a place away from the views of others, which sadly, happened to be the restroom on the same floor. What do you want to do now, Italia?"

"Search for _fratello_...". Italy laid himself against the wall, closing his eyes as if he was in deep thought. He clasped his hands together, trying to focus on the situation. "And fix Spain's brain. Clearly, something is wrong with his mind... You'll help, right, Germany?"

The german tensed up upon seeing Italy being so serious. He dared not to ask anything else. The tone Italy used, everything about him was out of place. The last statement by the italian was more of an order than a question. Germany always thought twice for everything he will say. But for that moment, he thought four or five times before croaking a response. "Anything at all... I did promise to protect both of you..."

"Ve! That's splendid!". The italian jumped with joy, hugging the german in front of him. "Then both of us can have a pasta dinner tonight! Just the both of us, _si_?". Sparkles of happiness beamed all over the italian. "_Ti amo_, Germany~"

"_J-Ja_... I love you too..." The german blushed uncomfortably under the italian's weak grasp.

.

"V-ve… I didn't realize it was raining...". By the looks of the rising water level, it must've rained for a while.

Italy and Germany went in separate directions to find Romano. They had asked the hotel staffs, but nobody knew where the older italian went.

"F-France's place is cold...". Italy had been running around in search of his brother for hours. The sun had long disappeared from the sky. He was completely soaked and cold by the rain. "V-ve... And I'm hungry too...". He cuddled himself tight, pointlessly trying to stop the little warmth he had left from escaping.

The italian stopped walking, rubbing the water out of his eyes. And that was the time he sensed a familiar feeling, a feeling he felt when he went looking for Romano at the Colosseum one month ago. Something assured him to run forward, which in fact, he did ran.

There he was, his older_ fratello_ curled up in a ball, pale from the hours of cold rain. Hesitantly, he approached the older italian. "_Fra… Fratello_… I was looking for you all day…"

Romano tilted his head up, looking at Italy with spiritless eyes. He muttered something under his breath, muffled by the beating sound of rain.

"Fratello? Let's go back to our room...". The italian touched his older brother on the shoulder only to get his hand slapped away in rage.

For a second there, Romano's eyes burned with nothing but pure hatred. "Get the fuck out of my face, Veneziano...! It's always you, isn't it? It's always you who received all the good perks ever since _Nonno_ Rome took you under his influence! Dammit! Why must it always be you?!". The older italian rose from his feet and grabbed his brother's collar, pinning him hard against the alley wall. "They always took your side... You have such powers with you...". Even with the rain pouring heavily on them, Italy knew that Romano was crying.

"_Mi dispiace_... " said the younger italian. He didn't move or flinch. For now, he let his older brother do whatever he wanted. "_Mi dispiace, fratello_...". Italy was dead serious every time he spoke italian with his brother.

Italy's gentle hum immediately soften Romano's grip. He regrettably let his brother off, dragging his feet away so that he won't see his brother's face for a second longer. "Let's go back, Veneziano... Now I have to file up every shit to explain why I didn't go for the meeting even though they paid for my expenses for this worthless trip..."

"_Si_..." obeyed the younger italian, making absolutely no attempt to fight back.

.

"What happened to him next...?"

"Ve... I'm not sure... He closed the door before I enter the room... Sure we share the same room and he didn't lock the door, but I felt like leaving him alone tonight... Do you think _fratello_ hates me, Germany...?" asked the italian innocently at the german.

"No. He's a moron sometimes, but you're his brother." said the german, pulling Italy closer to him as both of them sat on the bed. "Ja... You can stay here until things clears up."

"Ve~! _Grazie_, Germany!". The italian gave a quick kiss on Germany's cheek, making the german feverishly red. "About that pasta dinner..."

.

"The younger half of the whole forcefully open his gloves that chained his powers down throughout history. To his lover, some truth remains untold."

"I see... But everything will be revealed in the end, yes?"

"Hmm... It depends on how the cursed one act. To march into battle or commit suicide is completely out of my powers..."

* * *

**A/N : Depending whether or took my advice to skip this chapter or just go ahead and read this one, you'll interpret Chapter 5 differently.**


	5. Ch 5 New Number, New Hope

Title : Memories Stronger Than Gods

Chapter 5 : New Number, New Hope

The older italian worked himself in piles of paperwork, hand signing documents faster than a professional gamer playing a video game. He counted every seconds passed. It had been eight days since the meeting he failed to attend. Since then, he refused to go out and rejected anyone who wished to see him. He even ignored his _fratello_ whenever he came into his room to deliver his mails. The only time he ever comes out was during breakfast and late night dinner.

Just when he was about to lose himself into more work, he heard a knock to his door. "Romano-kun…? Are you there?"

"Bastard… Can't he see the sign on my door…?" muttered Romano in annoyance. "Asians…" He began to sound racist. For that, he cursed himself.

The guest helped himself in despite the hints given that nobody was welcomed. He was Japan, wearing his grey kimono, something outside his usual white military attire. "Good evening, Romano-kun. Is my visit a bother?"

"No! You're presence is welcome here despite the 'FUCK OFF' signs I put outside!" said the irked italian, sounding extremely sarcastic. "And don't just greet people good evening if it's not, you bastard!"

Japan gave the other a rather worrying look. It was obvious that his visit only caused more distress for the italian nation. "But, Romano-kun…" The japanese nation said with full pity. "It is evening right now…"

Romano seemed to be a little surprised by the other's statement. He swished his curtains open, peeking out to the outside world. Indeed, it was already past sunset. "Oh… You're right…" he said with a tedious tone. "Fuck… How long was I inside…?" He remembered that he skipped breakfast to finish a project early, saying that he would eat later after he did a small portion of the work.

"We are worried about you, Romano-kun. Italy-chan told us everything about what had happened during the last meeting at France's state. You should not shut yourself in like this…" Each word Japan said was like a bullet to Romano's heart. With each passing moment, the italian grew more discomposed. Yet, he did not roar out his disturbed thoughts.

The italian threw himself on his bed, leaving his paperwork on his desks. He whispered out a sigh. Everything about his life had been out of place. He actually got things done and didn't 'fucked up' anything. Odd was the situation. Thinking back, his life was now more organized and productive, but why did he felt so jumbled up?

"Don't listen to my stupid _fratellino_, Japan… I'm just doing my work…" Romano buried his face in the soft fluffy pillow that seemed to be untouched for days. He had forgotten how it feels to lay without worries on a comfortable bed.

Japan leisurely walked towards the bed and sat beside the italian on the bed in a distance he usually felt intolerable. He folded his legs to his chest as he dragged the curtains of the canopy bed to closed them. The place was too dim for them to see anything clearly, but they both know that they were alone without anyone else. Absolutely nobody can disturb their privacy.

"_Onegaishimasu_, Romano-kun… What seemed to be the problem…?" asked the japanese mildly. The tone he used was so understanding and motherly, Romano can't help but to surrender his troubles, but he still hesitated a little bit.

"Nothing… I'm perfectly fucking fine…" said Romano, voice muffled by the pillow. "Get the fuck off of my bed, or else I'll get the mafia to shove a frog down your throat…"

Japan chuckled. The italian flustered over his own lame threats. "This must have something to do with Spain-san, _ne_? Only he can bring you down to your feet like this." The japanese smiled as he took a quick picture of the italian with his flip phone. "You're not actually a _tsundere_, but you do have a few _moe_ points of yourself."

"The hell? What the fuck is a _tsundere_?! And don't speak of that tomato bastard's name in front of me!" yelled Romano, finally showing his face to the other nation as he sat up. His light brown eyes stared deeply into the other's jet black eyes, even darker under the shadow of the four corners.

Japan scanned every inch of the italian's features. Red eyes, messy hair, eye bags, even his body postures were out of place. "Um… This may be embarrassing to ask, Romano-kun… But do you actually rest after doing all these work…?"

Romano gave him an abhor look. How he wished he could punch the other in the face for butting into his private life. Sadly though, he had no will to fight back. "It's nothing… God dammit, Japan. We're countries. And we don't need sleep."

"You'll only destroy yourself if you keep up with this lie…" said Japan.

"What more do I have that you want to take?" The italian literally growled at the other. His rage escalated fast by the second.

"Hmm… But you do have something." Japan poked the other's chest, right above the heart. "You have love."

The italian slapped the other's hand away as he sat back, hugging the pillow. "God… Why did Japan caught my stupid little brother's stupidness?!" He gave Japan a threatening look, his nails practically ripping the covers of the pillow. "Say one more nonsense, I'll make you eat bullets for breakfast for the rest of your life!"

"Very well… I shall say no more…" smiled Japan. He hopped out of the bed and laid a small piece of white paper on the bed. "Whether to enter the door that had been opened for you is your choice. _Sayonara_, Romano-kun…"

Romano's mind wandered off somewhere when the other left. He stared at single paper in front of him. It was another unforeseen chance opened to him.

_ Whether to enter the door that had been opened for you is your choice._

"FUCK. YOU." The italian glared horribly at the paper as he jumped out of bed. He marched himself to his working desk and held a fountain pen tightly in his grip, ready to sign more documents. "F-Fuck you…"

His hand refused to work, trying so hard to move but failed. The feeling he didn't knew existed slowly demanded to get out, forcing his body to the point where he wants to puke.

_ Japan… I'll blame you if this is another one of those false hope…_

Romano reached out for the paper. Excitement ran through his veins, yet at the same time, fear escorted him.

With the little piece of paper in hand, he slowly unfolded it, biting his lower lips.

Numbers were scribbled neatly on it. He recognized it as Japan's handwriting. At the bottom of the paper wrote one barely visible sentence.

_ 'Antonio Fernandez Carriedo'_

"Spain…?" The italian inspected the numbers one more time. "What is this… New number or something…?"

Come to think of it, he tried calling Spain countless times before. Maybe he lost his phone? Romano still haven't heard the full version of the spaniard's story. Should they meet up? Or should he remain like this? After all, he did become extra productive for once. And his bosses actually complimented him for the fine work and his efficiency. Maybe it would be better if he stayed the was he was.

"Screw work… I finished next week's quota too." The italian looked at his desk, then to the numbers. "… … I need to call Veneziano…"

He cannot remember the last time he used his phone. "It should be around here somewhere…" The italian searched everywhere. It took him a good 40 minutes to actually find his phone which was under his desk, coated by a thin layer of dust. He took it and wiped it on his uniform. "Is this shit still working…?"

Romano pressed the buttons of the phone wildly. As soon as the light goes on, the battery died. "Shit…"

.

The beautiful part of Venice lit heavenly after sunset. Gondolas set out to deliver their last passengers. Usually during these hours, nobody would be out at the dark open part of the waters, buildings distant and lights barely visible. And in those lonely parts, one white gondola float with a small paper lantern lit at the tip of the boat.

"Ve~ Germany! I shall do unholy things to your anus~" giggled a young italian nation as he rowed the gondola further from human eyes.

The German's face turned scarlet. He jerked back, making the gondola shift, almost causing the italian to fall into the waters. "W-What are you talking about! We're friends! W-We're dating and doesn't mean we're lovers! We're dating in a friend type… Err… Whatever! Italy! W-We can't do anything like that!"

Italy chuckled. His feminine and graceful figure as he rowed the gondola stopped the german's mind from processing anything for a short while. The italian just smiled lightly. "Geez~ I'm just joking~ Of course we're friends~ But I wonder…" He gave Germany a seductive look. "If that really happens, I'll make sure I'll top~"

"Italia!" Germany covered his fully flustered face. "Stop with all these nonsense talk!"

The italian laughed again. "It's funny how you're weak against this subject despite having _that_ large stash hidden in your room. When Prussia and I found _those_ books, we almost did it… Together… On your bed…" A smile marked his face.

"YOU WHAT?!"

"Hahaha~ I'm just kidding, Germany~" Before Italy could continue on his teasing, his cellphone rang. It was from a number he never seen before.

Even from an unknown stranger, the italian received the call casually. "_Ciao_. Feliciano Vargas speaking."

"Veneziano! It's me!" said the voice across the phone.

"_Fratello_?!" The shock from hearing his brother's voice made him lose his balance. Germany caught him in time before falling into the waters.

Germany wanted to scold the other for being careless, but the look in the italian's eyes lit a fire hotter than hell itself. He decided that it was best for him to leave Italy alone until his call end.

"_Fratello_? What happened to your phone?" asked the younger italian.

"Stupid thing can't charge itself. Anyway… I need some of your help. Will you listen to me?"

Italy looked at Germany's blue eyes before hopping out of the german's grip. "_Si_~ Anything for you~" Even though he used such a cheerful tone, his face growled with serious determination.

After hearing about what Romano had to say, Italy ended the conversation with a simple sentence before shoving his phone back into his pockets. "Then see you on Sunday, _Fratello_~"

The italian sighed. All those tension disappeared as soon as the phone call was over. He looked tiredly at the german, smiling softly as he continued rowing the gondola further out to the waters.

"Ve… Germany…?"

"_Ja_?" The german dared not to touch the matter on the other's private conversation with his brother.

A wide grin stretched across the italian's face. "Where are we again? Oh! Well… Prussia and I…"

"You said you're lying! _M-Mein Gott_… What has gotten into you?"

Italy lined his finger across his jaw, trying to remember what he said before. "You know… I might be lying at that time…"

"ITALIA! NO MORE!" Germany turned his back towards the italian. He crossed his arms, hiding his embarrassed face.

The italian whispered in his heart as he let out a small and barely hearable giggle. "It's so fun to tease him~"

.

It was already 4 a.m. in Venice. Germany slept on Italy's bed, silent and relaxed. Meanwhile, Italy sat on a wooden chair near the window, feeling the wind against his face. His phone vibrated, signaling an incoming call from his older brother, Romano.

"_Ciao, fratellone_."

"Veneziano… _Mi dispiace_… I disturbed you and that potato bastard again…"

"It's nothing~ He didn't ask anything anyway~"

"Hey…" There was a short silence between the both of them. The sound of static across the phone could be heard faintly. "Why are you so willing to help me…? Isn't that potato bastard more important to you?"

Italy turned to look at the sleeping german before answering, smiling. "Germany and I are just best friends. And he's.."

"He's everything to you, huh, Veneziano?"

"And so is Spain to you."

"…"

The younger italian played around with his bangs, but his mind wandered off somewhere. "Both of us have that special person in our life. Both of us are one, and our hearts connect. Of course I want Spain to be together with you. That's what you want, and that's what I want."

"I…" Romano's coughs made it difficult for him to say anything.

Italy chuckled. "I know how you lied when the others talked about Spain. It's better to get them off our backs while we do our jobs, si?"

Germany seemed to be waking up. He sat up and rubbed his temples. "Italy…?"

Whispering to his older brother, Italy closed the window. "Germany just woke up. I'll hang up." Before he could disconnect the line, Romano whispered something in return.

"And I want potato bastard to be together with you too, Veneziano…"

"Romano…" Italy let out his usual happy giggle as he covered his mouth with his hand, hoping Germany won't hear him. "You really are the best brother an italian could ask for." With that, he hung up.

Germany was still stretching and yawning. "Who was that…?"

"_Buon giorno_, Germany!"

* * *

**A/N : The reason why I made Japan call Italy 'Italy-chan' and Romano 'Romano-kun' is because their personal relationship with each other grew(?) as time goes by...? C'mon... This is the 21st century. And the setting of the anime/manga itself is mainly around WWII. So yeah. But that's all just a small 'headcannon'-ish only for this fic.**  
**If anyone disagree, this is 'fanfic'. All that we wrote is purely our own fantasy of our beloved series. We can even make them grow another arm if we want. But who does that...?**


	6. Ch 6 Rejection

Title : Memories Stronger Than Gods

Chapter 6 : Rejection

It had been a while since the Bad Touch Trio gathered together again, over a month to be exact. And now, Prussia and France were there in Spain's hotel, preparing him for a blind date with someone - someone quite special.

Prussia was the one in charge of Spain's outfit for the day, France handled his hair and other finishing touches. After much effort, Spain looked quite good, fashionable and royalty in a strange way.

"Umm…" Spain looked at himself in the mirror, turning around to see his drastic changes. "I appreciate everything that both of you did, but I'm not really interested in other people other than my cute Italy…"

"This is such a problem… Just last month, he can't stop being a Romano-freak. And now, he completely turned into Ita-chan's creepy worshipper." commented Prussia as he brushed the dust off Spain's coat.

"Trust us, _mon ami_. We'll fix that little brain of yours soon enough. The power of love overpowers all forces. If true love exists right there in front of you, then grab her without second thought!" France did a kissing gesture at Prussia, which sadly got rejected hard along with a side meal of a knuckle sandwich.

The prussian took a picture of the finished prince with his phone. "If something goes wrong, we'll be there to get your back. Just act natural and everything will be fine! Ro- Eh… I mean… Your date really likes you for who you are, though he's always an ass about everything…"

"He? It's a guy? Wouldn't that be wrong?" asked the spaniard innocently with a happy smile on his face.

"Oi, France… Is he being serious…?" Prussia jerked his elbow at the french's arm, making sure he used extra force for old time's sake.

"With that bastard of a face, I seriously can't tell anymore…" France cupped the spaniards cheeks with both hands, squeezing them painfully to get the other's full attention. "Earth to Spain. The cute Italy you're talking about is a guy. And who was it that made gay marriages legal in your country?"

Spain laughed the topic off. He didn't want anyone to talk about his Italy that way. They didn't understand. For Spain, Italy was different. Gender or looks is nothing compared to his true feelings towards _his_ henchman.

Prussia looked at his phone. "He's here. Goodluck there, buddy. Don't piss him off too much with that airhead of yours." He handed a nicely wrapped red roses to his friend.

"Especially don't call him tomato or little bull or that sort of things." continued the French.

"Aww! _Gracias_ Francis, Gildette!" The spaniard reached for the roses and smelled them before walking gleefully out the hotel door and down to the lobby.

France rubbed his neck and looked at his feet, feeling satisfied with their fine work of makeover fit for a king. "Hey, Prussia… Want to hear something funny?"

"What?"

"He called you Gildette…"

"Shut up…"

.

Italy received a message from a certain prussian.

_ 'Hey Ita-chan! He's good to go.'_

The italian smiled as he saw a picture of Spain attached to the message. He looks charming. "_Va bene_~ He's perfect!"

"Who's perfect? Your bastard?" grunted Romano while looking at himself in the mirror.

The younger chuckled. "More like _your_ bastard, _fratello_." He held his phone up, screen facing the other italian. "Look~ Isn't he nice? Prussia and brother France did a wondrous job! And you should be too."

Romano glanced over his brother's phone, letting out a faint visible blush across his face. "Of course he looks nice. He's Spain." He paused for a moment, staring his brother's reflection on the mirror. "Hey, Veneziano… What if his memories are lost forever…? Maybe I should forget about that jerk. It's not like we're in a relationship or shit like that. Sure he's acting all nice and sweet all the time, but he sees me as nothing more than a henchman…"

The younger grunted, yet his face could still portray that perfect cute little sister image. "If that really happens, then I'll hunt down whoever that caused this mess, even if I have to fly halfway across the world. You'll be fine, _fratello_. For now, fixing his memories is more important than anything else."

"You're not mad, are you, _fratellino_? I've been asking for help from you since as long as I can remember. All I do is causing you trouble." The older ran his fingers through his brother's hair, giving him a light pat to the head. "You don't have to do this."

Italy shook his head. "No, _fratellone_." He held the other's cheeks with his small palms, leaning closer to his chest before kissing him deeply on the lips. They stayed like that for a good 4 seconds before pulling apart. "I do this because I want to. I don't want anything in return. All I ask is for you to be happy, so I can be happy too. No more depressing talks like this, alright?"

Romano lifted his hand high up in the air before smacking his brother's head with full force. He didn't regret hearing the other's yelp upon his hit. "How many times do I have to tell you…? Brothers don't do that!"

"Ve~" Italy hugged his raged brother one more time, pushing him out of the room and to the elevator. "No more chatting, _fratello_. Spain is already downstairs." He sprayed a few dash of cologne on his brother, pushing him into the elevator. "This is your city. You know the history of Rome more than anyone. This is where your history… no… _memories_ with Spain is. Only you can make him remember."

The roman italian looked at his dear brother with confusion. "Huh? What do you mean by that?" He didn't get to hear an explanation. The elevator door shut too early with the press of a button. "Jerk…"

Meanwhile, Italy walked back to his room. He wasn't that surprised to see Germany cleaning _their_ bed since they share the same room. "I'm surprised that your brother didn't yell or even look at me just now. I thought he would be very angry if he knew that I had been here all the time."

"Oh~ He knew you were there. He didn't mind since I said I asked you to come with me." Italy jumped and laid himself on the bed, completely ruining the freshly made mattress. "Hahahaha~ You don't have to clean, Germany. Let room service take care of everything~"

Germany sighed. He sat on the bed and laid his head on Italy's stomach. "We can't rely on others to clean our own mess. You need to be more responsible, Italy…" The look on the german's face shown how disturbed he was about something.

"Ve… Germany…? Is something bothering you?"

"No… Nothing at all…" The german stayed quite, but not for long. The thought just slipped out of his mouth without much control anyway. "Why did you kiss your brother like that?"

"So that's what you're worried about…" Italy sat up, twirling his fingers in the other's blonde hair. "He needs to be reminded that he's Italy too. His problem is my problem. We share everything, including what our two hearts desires."

The german blushed under the italian's touch. "T-Then if there's anything I can help you both, I'll do it."

.

Spain waited at the lobby. There seemed to be nobody but the hotel attendant there. The spaniard darted his eyes all over the familiar decorations around the hotel ceiling. He was more interested in sightseeing than this 'blind date'. But his two best friends had gone through a lot just to prepare this small event. The least he could do was to go with the flow until the whole thing ends.

"I wonder how he would be like…" was the question he breathed out. A question quite common, but still frightening and exciting. "Francis and… that other person… really put effort into this. The best I can do is be nice."

"If that's your reason for showing up, then you might as well swallow a giant sack of rotten tomato…" The italian kept in mind that he should avoid using any harsh words, especially if that was their first time talking face to face after one month separation.

"Ohh! I love tomato!" chirped Spain without realizing who he was talking to. When he turned around, his stomach clenched, unsure whether it was a good or a bad thing. "Italy…?"

The anger inside of the italian overflowed in a split second. Being compared or mistaken as his little brother was quite displeasing. But he forced himself to shut his mouth up. He needed to bring his Spain back, and he won't let his temper get in the way. "Don't you remember who I am? I'm Italia Romano. Veneziano is my older brother."

"Italy's brother? _Mi Dios_…! I can't date Italy's brother!" The spaniard shoved the roses to Romano's hands, his warm smile disappeared instantly. "I'm sorry. My two dear friends did everything for this plan, but I can't do this. Italy is the only one for me. I just… can't… Anyone but you…"

_ Anyone but you…_

That sentence alone was enough to silence his emotions. Never before had he felt so empty. His temper withered along with all his confidence.


	7. Ch 7 Let Go

Title : Memories Stronger Than Gods

Chapter 7 : Letting Go

Right in front of the spaniard, Romano whipped his phone out and dialed the first number in his list - his brother. "Veneziano… I really can't do this after all…"

While Romano was on the phone, Spain scanned his image. Indeed he resembles Italy, but something about him was off, uneasy, not right, painful. Either way, he had no memory of the italian, and he didn't want to start staining his love for the bubbly Italy over a hot older brother.

A _very_ hot older brother.

Even at that awkward time, Spain watched his manners. He waited for the other to finish his talk on the phone before saying anything himself.

"Fucker…" Romano hissed as he shove his phone back into his pocket. He threw the roses furiously to the spaniard's face, some of the red petals sticking to his curly brown hair. "You know what? Fine! This will not be a stupid date or whatever! I'm tired of being pathetic and weak in front of my brother. So you're coming with me whether you like it or not!" He grabbed the other's collar and tried to dragged him out.

"W-Wait…! Italy knows about this?" Spain slapped Romano's hand away, refusing to leave the hotel grounds. "That is another reason why we can't do this. I don't want Italy to think that I'm cheating on him…"

The italian sighed. His brows wrinkled by the stress Spain gave him. "The deal is off. This is not a stupid date anymore. I'll say this again, bastard. You're coming with me. I'm going to beat you back to your fucking self." He wasn't lying, but a distant part of him was.

Silenced by the sudden show of colorful language, he instantly gave in. Romano led them both outside. The sun shining on the streets of Rome perfectly. Clouds made their appearance to caress the land with cold breeze. Chirping birds filled the air with their songs of love…

And desperation…

"Shitty birds ruining the mood…" commented the italian. All the time he led Spain through the street, holding his hand. Surprisingly, nobody was there to block their way. He figured that it must be the work of his brother. His power of influence can be a little over the line sometimes.

The spaniard noticed that their hands touched. He wanted to try shaking the other off, but that would be too rude. For now, he let it be, praying that this won't change anything.

"Italy used to be two separate lands… On March 17, 1861, the two lands unified. Even with that unification, the two lands were governed separately…" Romano stopped walking. Remembering those moments brought back memories, both the good and bad. The bad ones, however, left him speechless for a while. He felt nauseated by those bloody moments in his life. "Starting with the history of Italy won't work… Tell you what… I bring you sightseeing around my place, you tell me if you remember anything."

"Umm… That would be nice. Er… Yeah. Nice." Spain didn't want to say that he had forgotten the name of the other italian. Judging by the other's temper, he would go mad if he say something 'offensive'. His two best friends had warned him.

Romano didn't realize that they were holding hands. He shot his hand back, away from the spaniard's touch. "This proves nothing, bastard… Don't go crying and making some cheesy drama about you and my brother. I don't want to hear that shit ever again."

Spain giggled. Seeing the other's puffed cheeks somehow reminded him of a tomato. Forgetting his friends' advice, he let his thought slip out of his lips. "_Tomatina_~ You look like a fresh ripe tomato."

A quick dash of red painted the italian's face. "What did you just called me?!" He head-butted the spaniard's head, making his nose bleed. "That's what you get for calling me stupid pet names."

The spaniard wiped his bloody nose with his handkerchief. "Ouch… For someone skinny, your head-butting hurts… Where did you learn that?"

"From assaulting you all those time…" Romano snorted before walking away. "Remember anything yet?" He shouldn't put up such high hopes. To recover one's memory that fast was impossible, but he asked anyway.

"Should I?" asked the spaniard innocently. That signature smile finally showing itself to the italian. "This is so interesting. My body feels like it is ready to take the impact, yet I have no memory of it whatsoever." Despite the sudden show of acceptance of the other's presence, his eyes were still wary of the whole situation. If one tiny thing that threaten his 'relationship' with Italy, he won't think twice about leaving.

"What you said just now made no fucking sense. But whatever it is, if your fucking body feels something, then that's okay, I guess… Better than nothing…" A barely hearable chuckle escaped Romano's breath. He had his bad times, he had good memories too. Attacking Spain centuries ago was one of his few sweet memories.

So far, Spain was convinced that he never met the person in front of him before. That voice, that laugh, that body language. Everything about the other was foreign. "I swear I've never met you before. But we can be friends. Best friends maybe!"

_ Yes. That's right. We can just be friends~ Italy won't mind, right? My dear sweet Italy~_

"Oi…! What are you smiling there like a sick bastard, bastard?! Let's go! we have a lot of places to go."

.

For the rest of the morning, they visited many memorial places in Rome. Spain remembered many of those ancient buildings, but whenever he asked him about any memories he had with someone, the answers were the same - no.

For some of those places, the spaniard could recite the complete history without making error. How could he not? He was there too. Although such detailed lecture was given, he failed to mention Romano's name even once.

After a short lunch break in a restaurant they used to go together, Romano continued their day by giving the spaniard hints about their times together. If he fails to remember, he would tell the full story, hoping that the other would at least respond to something.

The day ends with quite a fancy dinner. "Hey~ Can I call you Lovi?" was Spain's silence breaker when the both of them sat on a dining table of a 5 star hotel. Nobody seemed to be around, only the waiters. He remembered that while they were going around remembering things, one of the people called the other 'Lovino Vargas'. That must've been his human name. Since he said he was Italy's brother, so he must be a nation too.

Romano lowered his menu down to give his reply, his face tired and annoyed. "I miss it when you call me by my real name, but that works fine." He lifted the menu back up to shut his face away from the other. "Hurry up and order something, you jerk…" Secretly, he was smiling.

They spent 15 minutes looking through the menu and ended up ordering only fresh tomatoes and tomato juice. The happy look on Spain's face when the waiter arrived with the fruit was priceless. Two tall glass of red juice and a decorated basket filled with five fat juicy tomatoes, ready to be eaten.

The italian took the first bite on a tomato. As much as how he loved them, he couldn't remember the last time he ate one of those red treasures. Looking at one would bring nothing but tides of overflowing emotions. But right at that moment, he knew that everything will be alright.

"You know, bastard…? For a moment there, I really thought that I'll run away from all of this…"

"Hmm…?" Spain grabbed the reddest tomato and wiped it on his sleeve before munching it in one big bite. "Run away from what?"

"From meeting you…"

"…?" Something inside the spaniard's chest snapped. Was he supposed to be disappointed? He barely knew the other, so that couldn't be it. "_Lo siento_…" He felt the need to apologize. Whatever the italian faced must've be difficult. "What am I to you…?"

"You're… my… boss…" His voice was a little too soft to hear. "Enough about this shit. Just eat your fucking tomato and we'll continue with this memory hunt."

The spaniard smiled. He couldn't hear what Romano said before his latter sentence. "I didn't hear you before. I'm your what?"

"Dammit, Spain! You can't just ask someone something so fucking private! DAMMIT!" Romano grabbed his second tomato and sunk his teeth furiously into it's skin, ripping a big portion from it's body. "Stop being so oblivious to everything… Either that will get you killed, or I kill you myself…!"

Tilting his head to the left, he looked at Romano in a brotherly stare, resting his cheek on his palm. "Ouch… I wouldn't want that, especially if my murderer is this cute~" said the spaniard in a teasing tone.

"I really don't get what's going on in your fucked up mind… Heck, I don't even think there's anything in there. And how can you say that? I thought you're all Veneziano _is my only one_!"

"He's different." said the spaniard. His cheerful smile mild, showing more warmth than his jolly attitude. "He's not like any other person I've ever met. He's nice, sweet, sometimes protective over things, never afraid of me. He's a good kid. It might be strange, but I really REALLY like your brother, Lovi. He means everything to me. Strange how he never mention about you. I'm sure we can be good friends! You're easy to talk to." Upon saying that, he had that hesitant feeling in his words.

Romano twirled the straw of his tomato juice, listening to everything that the spaniard had to say. His face show no care, but deep inside, he felt sick. He wanted to shove his fist down Spain's throat, but seeing him laughing and smiling like the Spain he once knew, he couldn't bring himself to act unkindly towards the spaniard.

Spain continued on talking for the next 20 minutes, all of them about the younger Italian. The spark in his eyes skyrocketed up the dark evening sky. Romano had to admit, seeing him like that made him smile and chuckle at certain rare times.

That was their first time meeting after one month of separation, and in that single day, they became friends. At least Spain thought so.

"We should do this sometimes. Italy should come too~ We can have fun together!" giggled the spaniard. "Who knows when we'll both get married, you'll be the best man!"

"Spain…" Romano said while massaging his temples. "You need to filter your words before saying any fucking thing. And you need to stop with all this 'Veneziano talk'. It sounds stupid when you say it."

"Aww… Lovi… Sincerity is the number one thing in love!"

"Then rub it to his face, not mine, you fucking retarded bastard."

"Ahaha~ I wish I can. But it's like time doesn't want to let us meet. I miss him… Only he can make me truly happy, you know what I mean?"

"…" Romano stared at the last tomato in the basket. "I don't know what to do with you…"

_ I should let him go._

One last tomato. Spain reached out for it, then handed it over to the other. "The last dessert for our great host, _si_? Thanks for bringing me around Rome~ You're really a great person, Lovi. Veneziano will be so proud."

"Please… Stop…" The italian gently pushed the other's hand away as he looked down so his bangs would hide his face.

"Is there something wrong, amigo?"

"Stop…"

"What's wrong…?" The smile on his face disappeared. He stood up and leaned forward above the table to look at the other in the eye. "Come on… You can tell me…" The sincerity on his face killed the italian's endurance.

"Stop…" This time, tears formed in Romano's eyes. "Just stop…"

The spaniard marched to the other's side. He tilted the other's chin and wiped his tears with his fingers. "Lovi… It's okay to talk to me. I mean… We just met today, but we're friends. You shouldn't cry. Cheer up, alright?"

"STOP GETTING MY HOPES UP!"

_ I can't let go after all…_

Romano screamed from the top of his lungs. "FUCKING SPAGNA! ONE MOMENT, YOU'RE ALL VENEZIANO LOVING BASTARD, THEN YOU OPEN UP TO ME! THEN VENEZIANO AGAIN?! IT'S LIKE YOUR SO CALLED 'LOVE' IS ONLY A FREUD! IS THAT WHAT IT IS?!"

"C-Calm down, Lovi!"

"NO! YOU CALM DOWN! FOR ONE MONTH, ALL I THINK ABOUT IS WHAT TO SAY TO YOU WHEN I FINALLY SEE YOU, AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY FUCKING NAME! Jesus…"

The spaniard dared not to say another word, taking two steps away from the italian.

Romano whispered as he drank his tomato juice in one go. "You know what? Forget it. I'm just over-reacting or some crazy shit." He slammed his hand hard on the table, tipping off the flowered vase and sadly broke on the floor. "I worry for nothing anyway. It's not like you care…"

"You think you're making it easy for me? How would I know how to act in front of a complete stranger. It's true that I watch every move I made so I won't do anything that might stagger my feelings for Italy."

"Then you suck at it! What about how I feel?"

Indeed, the spaniard considered his own actions so that his love for North Italy will not be forsaken for other people. But he never thought about how Romano would feel, his point of perspective, his _messages_. He was selfish for considering only his own heart to the point where nothing else matters to him.

"_Lo siento_, Lovi… I've been selfish…" apologized Spain again, his fingernails buried deep into the flesh of his palms.

"No. I should be the one apologizing, jerk..." The italian stood up and snatched the other's half empty glass of juice. "This is payment for being such an asshole, you fuckass tomato bastard." He drank the juice, leaving not a single drop behind.

"Seriously, Lovi. I'm sorry…"

"It's nothing." he lied. The look on his face was too obvious even for the oblivious spaniard. "Let's go back to your fucking hotel. I'll drive…"

.

The drive to the hotel was silent. Spain tried to start a simple conversation with the stranger beside him, but he feared that he might bring out unnecessary recollection.

After 30 minutes on the road, they reached the hotel, the place still empty and lifeless.

"After I clear my mind off today's shit, I might come over to your place. But I don't know. Maybe avoiding you is better." Romano snorted as he rolled his eyes. "You should at least remember who Italia Romano is." The italian left the compound with top speed.

"…" The spaniard made his way back to his hotel room, thinking about the other's words all the way. "Who is Italia Romano? How should I know?"

Opening the door with his card key, he was surprised to find his two best friends sitting on the bed, playing a game of cards. "What are you two doing here?" greeted Spain with a bright smile.

The other two, though, didn't return the favor. They stared at the spaniard, disappointed and worn out.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Not a single trace of fault found on his face. "Are you two staying over here too?"

The french sighed while the prussian massaged the headache out of his albino head. The spaniard just walked over to the bed and sat there with his friends, then leaning over the laid out cards.

"_Mon ami_! You're ruining our game!" yelled the prussian.

"Unawesome, man! So UNAWESOME!" Prussia threw the cards up in the air. The thick papers fluttered gracefully down and landed all over the place.

"Ahaha~" Spain rolled over the bed, annoying the other two nations greatly. The two gave each other one small satisfying nod before covering Spain's face with a pilow.

"Die, you spanish bastard! Prussia! Don't let him breath!"

"_Ja_! You must die, Spainnn!"

One gentle push was all it took to send the duo off the bed. His strength was horrific, only can be measured by those who actually go against it before. "Ahaha~ I can't take the both of you seriously."

Prussia revived from his fall, giving one powerful swing to the spaniard's head with a pillow. "I can't believe you did that to Romano!"

"My poor little brother, Romano…! Why can't you read the situation like everyone else?" France sighed again.

"Wait… He's Romano?" asked Spain. "Why are you telling me this? Did you two follow me around?"

France looked into the spaniard's green eyes. "We did that in case anything goes a little bit too _out of control_. You see? This is what we're worried about. That attitude of yours can get you killed."

"Ooh~! That's what Lovi said!"

The prussian spoke next. "This isn't a joke, Spain. Romano got feelings for you. And there you are, expressing your love for his brother instead. Then you can't even remember his nation name."

"So it's my fault then?" The somber tone finally present in his voice, cracking and crushing every joy there was in the atmosphere. "I didn't ask for this memory lost. You two, don't get too worked out about this."

"We didn't say that…" Prussia whispered.

"Let's just forget about what happened today, alright? Let's have a drinking party. Everything is on me." France didn't want his spaniard friend to feel bad, or else blood might be shed that night. "Relax."

"_Gracias, mi amigo_." His smile returned. His friends' heart can finally relax, though barely. "But I want to ask something…"

"Ask away." The prussian said.

"Is Lovi someone important? Then if he is, I couldn't have forgotten about him. I guess he doesn't really matter in my life. I can't remember anything about him."

.

Romano drove back to his mansion. As he expected, his younger brother was there. By the look on his face, Italy was crossed.

"I don't want to talk about it…" whispered the older after opening the car door.

"I know." Italy said, hopping himself around the fountain in front of the mansion entrance. "I saw everything." He glided his toes on the cold surface of the fountain's water.

"Then I don't have to say anything." The older opened his unlocked mansion door, but stopped before stepping inside. He turned to his brother. "What you did there was fucking amazing. I have no idea how you can clear the place from all those people."

"It's not that hard if you use your special rights as a nation. They'll let us do anything as long as normal people didn't know about our real identity." Italy rubbed his hands together. "Even your place gets cold once in a while."

"You're always welcomed to stay here if you want. I don't mind."

"_Grazie, fratello_. But Germany is waiting for me." The younger skipped towards the main gate. He stood still for a while, glowing at his brother. "Ah! And _fratello_?"

"What?"

"Earlier this morning, when you called me and said you can't go on with the date, I told you that you're stronger than what you think. You didn't respond. What were you thinking at that time?"

"We're one Italy. And you always made better decisions." said the older bitterly. "For the past month, you did a lot for me. I don't need any reasons to trust you, do I?"

"Ve~ You're very weird, _fratello_~ Even I can't guess what you're thinking~" Slowly, the younger waved goodbye. "_Ciao~ Buonanotte~_"

"_Ciao_…" Romano closed the door behind him. He figured that it was best to continue with his works.

He went up to his study room. Without even bother to change his clothes, he marched straight to his desk.

The place wasn't the way he last left them. All the papers were stacked neatly together. The files he needed to organize arranged in order, complete with different colors of page markers. His dashboard on the wall re-organized, pinned with thread guidelines. everything in front of him that he was supposed to work on finished, including next month's planning layout.

"Veneziano… Definitely his work."

Now that his original work and other extra assignments cleared from his list, he had the rest of the month free, the rest of the month all for himself.

But that didn't help at all. That only brought more time for him to reflect on that day's events. With nothing left for him to occupy his mind with, the endless shower of regret stabbed his soul.

The italian leaned his back against the window sill, peeking to the outside darkness. "That bastard seemed pretty happy with his stupid love life." He rested his forehead on the glass of the slightly dusty window. "But I've never seen him that happy before. I should just let him go…"

A small sigh escaped his lips. "If only that's fucking easy…"


	8. Ch 8 Things They Don't Know

Title : Memories Stronger Than Gods

Chapter 8 : Something They Don't Know

Days passed normally for the roman italian. Everything was like it used be; work and other annoying meetings. The only part missing was a certain someone who would greet him good morning everyday and wishing him pleasant dreams every night.

He spent his vacation days home; mostly playing video games Japan brought over or ordering things he didn't really need online. At one time, he even bought expensive presents on eBay and gave them to the other nations via airmail. Some of the others returned the fancy by bringing a few gifts when they visit Italy. He had to admit, receiving presents from someone did make him a little bit happy.

With one week left of free time, he decided to go out of his protective barrier and out to see his people.

Casual wear, blue contact lens and a pair of sunglasses, Romano was good to go. "Right. Better call that idiot of a brother. I don't want him to fuck the shit out when he discovers I'm not here." He dialed the number without looking at the keypads.

Italy took the call before the first beep. "Ciao?" His tone sounded more like a question than a greeting. The only time Romano would call is when either things went completely wrong or something joyful happened.

"Veneziano. I'm going out. Don't bother finding me in my house."

The younger nation coughed at the other side of the line, pounding his chest to ease his choke.

"Oi, bastard! You're choking on air or what?" yelled Romano. His patience wasn't something he could hold long even if he tried. "Don't tell me you're choking on the potato bastard's dick?!" For some reasons, he sounded sincerely alarmed. Though his comment was rather rude and unnecessary.

Italy giggled in between coughs, brushing his brother's words off his mind. "You're being silly again, _fratello_. Germany is my friend. He would never do that to me~ I'm just a bit surprised. You don't usually call unless it's something important."

"Yeah yeah… I guess it's been a while since I go out. You visit whenever you like even though I fucking told you not to." The older tapped his fingernails on the mirror in front of him. "Save your lecture for yourself. I know how long I've been indoors." Not really. He didn't keep track of time.

"Alright~ I won't bother you today. To be honest, I was planning to visit you again today~"

Romano gripped his phone hard as he tried to give a normal, 'decent' conversation."That's the problem there. You came here without telling me beforehand. And why would you waste all that money and fuel to come here?"

"Ve~ I haven't thank you for the lovely new phone you bought me. You even gave Germany one that matches mine~ So Germany and I bought something extra special for you."

"Bastard! I didn't buy you the stuff for anything in return! Take care, you piece of ass jerk!" Romano rolled his eyes, turning his phone off in annoyance. "Stupid brother! Why would he go through the trouble to buy a fucking present?"

All in all, he felt happy that his brother would take the time for him. He shook the thought off, making his way outside.

Just when he was about to open the door, someone already opened them from outside. He really needed to start locking his doors for his own safety.

"Mr. Brother! You're heading out?" greeted a certain french with a sheepish smile on his face.

"What are you doing here, asshole?"

"Romano… With that tone, you almost gave big brother a heart attack!"

"It's a shame you didn't…"

"Ouch…" said the french as he dramatically looked away, the back of his palm on his forehead. "Mr. Brother…! All this frenchman ask is some love~ What do you say we spend an afternoon together?"

"Sure sure…" Romano waved his hand around, excusing himself from the door and to his red Maserati outside.

France followed behind, secretly admiring the italian's car. "Is that a yes?"

Romano didn't answer. He jumped into his car and started the engine, pressing his foot on the fuel pedal. "What?! You want me to bring you the red carpets and wine? If you're not in here in 5 seconds, I'll leave without you."

The french didn't expect the other to agree. He wished to take the italian in his car instead, but now that Romano already started the engine, he might as well let him drive. Though his safety was not guaranteed.

Once he was in the car, France looked at Romano in a questioning manner, slowly buckling his seat belts.

"What are you looking at? Never seen an italian drive before?" At full speed, Romano drove out of his manor grounds.

"You don't usually act this way. I thought you would be all 'get the fuck out, you wine bastard' or something like that. Yet here you are, offering this lovebird a ride." France smiled, feeling happy for the other's sudden change of attitude. "You make big brother very proud."

"I only brought you along so you'll be paying all my meals later, bastard."

The french spoke too soon. His heart shattered in dismay. "There goes my thought of a potentially cute little brother…"

"Your what…?"

.

After driving around town for nearly an hour, both of them stopped at a normal pizza restaurant for lunch. For someone who planned to eat on someone else's money, Romano picked a rather cheap place to eat.

Romano can't help but to notice how well-dressed France was that day. With chewed pizza in his mouth, he commented on the other's attire. "So what are you up to dressing all fancy like that?"

The italian never ceased to amaze him with his aggressive manner in each of his sentences even if he meant no harm. "Well, _mon petite_~ This is my everyday look! And you? Why are you wearing blue contacts? Big brother notices you used colored hairspray as well."

"Italia Romano and Lovino Vargas are two different badasses! I don't need outside people I met messing with my job." hissed the italian. "It's annoying when humans recognized me during work just because I go out a few times."

"Hmm. Being a 'badass' must be hard. Why don't you try being a lover?"

Romano kicked the other's leg under the table, looking away as if he didn't know about anything. "Italians make one of the best lovers. I just don't show it to old men like you."

"E-Ehehe… I prefer the term _experienced_. But whatever floats your boat, then I won't argue." Avoiding an argument with the grumpy italian would be better than attracting a crowd with childish word fights, especially if both of them were are nations.

France paid for the bill. Both of them continued their day walking around the streets of Rome and went to various shopping malls.

It was a rare chance for the french to enjoy himself around italian cultures. He dragged Romano to every gift shop they saw and bought a lot of keychains and other simple jewelries. After 4 hours of walking about, Romano demanded a break.

"Damn you, wine bastard! I didn't bring you along to go to every fucking souvenir shop existed here. My feet hurts and it's all your fault!"

France eyed around for any other shops he could go, bags filled with useless novelty items hanging on each arm. "But Mr. Brother! Don't you find this exciting? Shopping and walking with people in a place you barely know!"

"I live here, you fucking asshole…" Romano rubbed his tired neck, his feet begging to take the shoes off. "We're going to the arcade. This day is supposed to be fun, not buying those things for 4 hours straight." He said as he pointed at the bags France held. "Let's go and put your things in the car. I know a place…"

.

"Hey, Spain! Don't push me!"

"I can't help it! I want to see what Francis and Lovi are up to~"

Prussia smacked the spaniard's forehead. "Bad, Spain…! Baaaadddd Spainnn!" He hissed as he pushed him away from the sight of the two other latin nations. "We'll be in trouble if either of them found out we followed them around."

"Why are we following them in the first place?"

The albino didn't answer. At first, he only wanted to have fun by stalking their french partner. But he didn't expect France to actually visit Romano. So he took the matter into his own hands, hoping to somehow help Spain recover his 'real' feelings.

"Pru-chan? Why aren't you answering?" asked the spaniard, scratching the other's back like a cat. By the looks of it, he didn't even care about who Romano hangs out with. "I heard him said something about an arcade~ Let's go there too! I want to try and set one or two high scores~"

"Shh… SHH! Stop attracting eyes!" Prussia said as he battled with the spaniards pestering fingers.

For a short while, they ended up fighting, attracting quite a large crowd of people. By the time all punches were delivered, they noticed that the targets they were following left a while ago.

"Toni! They're gone!"

.

In a street crowded by welcoming ladies to bars and clubs, Romano and France can't help but to flirt with a few fine beauties before they stopped by at the arcade.

"Ahh, Lovino…? Welcome…" greeted an old man upon their arrival. "I see you brought a friend today…"

Romano shook the dust off his shoes before entering the compound. "Yeah. This fucker wanted to tag along, so might as well bring him to the best arcade I know."

"Ohohoho…~ Is that so? It's so nice to have another guest here in this old man's lonely place." The old man tilted his head to face the french, a warm smile on his face. "What might your name be?"

"Francis Bonnefoy at your service, _monsieur_." The french stole quick glances around the place. Indeed the place was filled with a large variety of arcade games to choose from, but it felt like a ghost town in there; empty and lifeless. "Business is slow, I see?"

"_Si_…" said the old man sadly. "The clubs and bars outside put me in a competition I cannot win. But never mind. I lived my life long enough to see my children grow, and the children of my children, and the children of my grandchildren."

The italian nation marched to the man's side, patting his back. "Old man_… Non sforzatevi, bastardo._ Swallowed your medicine yet?"

France was quite surprised by the other's affectionate gestures; a side of Italia Romano he never seen before.

The old man smiled, his bony hand pushing Romano towards France. "Lovino, I'm fine! Go and enjoy the evening with your friend. Don't let an old man bother the quality time between nations."

Romano gave the man one final worried look before tugging the french towards the zombie shooting game area.

"Mr. Brother? Who was that tiny grandpa? How did he know we are nations?"

"He's an old friend of mine from way back at World War 2. He knows about me. I don't know how he figured you're a nation." The italian inserted the coins for two players in one of the machines. "Oi, bastard! You're playing or what?"

The french took the second player's gun. "I'm not sure how this works…" As soon as one of the zombie jumped in out of nowhere, he froze; seriously not sure how the buttons work. In less than 15 seconds, he lost all of his lives while Romano handled every enemy perfectly with his controller.

"The fuck, France?! You're wasting good money! You never aim a gun or something?!" yelled the italian before breaking into uncontrollable laughter. "You suck at this!"

For a second there, all of the distress in Romano's eyes disappeared.

Even with the negative comment, a small smile cracked on the french's face. Watching the other laugh was very contagious. He started laughing himself. "Forgive big brother, Romano. I am not familiar with these toy weapons."

"Dammit! Stop talking to me! Hey! GAH! FUCK YOU ZOMBIES!" The italian threw his hands up in the air in defeat when his concentration was disturbed by his fallen partner. Digging into his pockets for more coins, he barked at the countdown on the screen. "Don't you dare count to zero!" Immediately, he inserted the amount of coins for two players. "Don't just stand there, wine bastard. Help me get a high score!"

They played their hearts out. Indulging themselves in a lot of other classical arcade games, they didn't realize that it was already 7 p.m.

"Mr. Brother. You go on and play ahead. I want to have a little time out from the madness." France said, massaging his biceps. "My arm could fall off any second."

"Whatever. Just don't do anything stupid." said the italian without looking at the other's eyes. He wanted to go on another round of racing game.

France walked around the place alone, observing the place in detail. Nobody else was around, sending slight chills down his spine.

"Looking for something, Francis?" A voice sounded from behind. It was the old man.

"Oh. Hello there, _monsieur_. I'm just having a little break." The french took a seat on the chair meant for the other players.

Both stayed silent for a few minutes, watching Romano play his game.

"By any means, Francis, are you Lovino's lover?"

A flash of red glowed on the french's face. "Non, _monsieur_. I prefer to see him as a little brother. Nothing more than that. Maybe a little crush for his cuteness, but no real feelings." His voice cracked.

The man only smiled at the other's attempt in words. "Hahahaha ha… My apologies. I thought you're the one. He once mention that he have this one 'special' person in his life, a certain male nation."

"Believe me when I say 'I love to be that _certain_ nation', but he never loved anybody else more than he loved my other spanish friend."

"I see… So Antonio was the one… He always changed the topic whenever I asked." The man grinned.

France raised a brow. "You know so much about us. Did he opened up to you?"

"Only to a certain group of soldiers decades ago. Seeing the other humans he grew attached to die in the battlefield, he didn't bother to make any more permanent human friends. Sadly, I'm the last one remaining from that batch of soldier, and my time is almost up." He gazed around the cracked ceiling, squinting his old eyes to see better. "Sometimes, I wish I could be a nation. I told Lovino about that once. He punched me in the face. I probably deserved it."

"Being a nation has its advantages, but forced to be trapped in eternity's time is a nightmare." France started to remember things he shouldn't.

Sadness filled the air, once again choking them both into silence.

The old man stood up and gave a pat to France's back. "He may not look like it, but Lovino loved humans as much as the sea loves the reflection of the moon. He deserves the same amount of love he gave to his people."

"For a nation to love human is truly a pain…" whispered the french.

"A pain only another nation can take away." whispered the old man back, a satisfying smirk on his face.

A burst of warning alarmed the two talking 'buddies'. "What are you two whispering behind my back?!" Romano pulled the collar of France's shirt.

"Mr. Brother! We're just talking about the magnificence of English food!"

"Don't fuck with me. Let's go back. The sun already lost its balls and sunk." Before he dragged France out of the arcade store, the italian slipped a white envelope to his old friend. "A little something for retirement, you old bastard."

Romano marched out of the store as soon as the envelope was in the other's hands. He didn't want to hear emotional 'thank you' from anyone. "Great. I'm hungry… You're paying. Then you'll drive us back home. I want to sleep on the back seat after dinner."

"As you command."

France learned something about Romano that day. Not sure if he should let the italian drive him around like a slave, but he wanted to let him have his way just for the night.

.

The pizza and tomato dinner was fantastic. France expected nothing less from the famous italian tastes.

Romano rubbed his eyes, his muscles ached all over. "I'm tired. Remember… You're driving…"

"_Oui_. But before that, can we make one final stop at the jewelry shop there?" france pointed his fingers at the shop nearby.

"Didn't you buy enough? You're not going to eat them, are you?"

"Just come with me."

The french left the bill on the table, pulling Romano's wrist across the street and into the shop. He then spotted a cross necklace embodied with flawless emerald. Bringing the box to the counter, he paid the cashier with a cheque. Right after he received the receipt, he pulled the other out of human eyes.

On the way back to the car, Romano stomped on the other's foot. Lucky for France, nobody was there to see the embarrassing turn of event. "You jerk! Stop pulling me around like an asshole!"

France ignored the pain, pulling Romano closer as he slipped the emerald necklace around the other's neck. He whispered closely to his ear. "Wear this proudly around your neck. Because…"

His voice became too soft for anyone to hear but the two nations themselves.

Romano's face flushed red. He could feel his heart raced as soon as he heard the French's words. "Then I fucking will… Y-You better not tell anyone about anything that happened today, understand?"

"Fine by me~"

As agreed, France became the driver.

And all the way back, Romano kept on holding the cross necklace France gave him, smiling like a hopeless lover.

Back at Romano's home, France carried all the things he bought over to his own car. Before leaving, he made sure that Romano entered the house and locked the door.

"Today was fun. Perhaps we could find another day to waste time like this in the future?" The french patted Romano's head and dodged away before he gets punched.

"Yeah. Maybe. Don't put too much hope, bastard. But you're right… Today was fun… Now FUCK OFF." Romano slammed the door behind him.

"Interesting fellow." whistled France to himself.

All alone outside, he started his engine and drove back to his hotel, reminiscing the wonderful things that happened that day.

But he can't shake the feeling that someone was watching him; not that he let the thought bother him.

.

"Prussia! PRUSSIA! Do you think that France and Lovi are… you know… going out?" The spaniard bit the edges of the pillow as he complained to his german friend.

"Aww~ Little Spain cared about poor Lovi? Aren't you supposed to be Ita-chan's knight?"

"Hey… I'm worried about Francis…"

"You sure he's the only one you're worried about? What about Lovi?"

Spain didn't know how to answer. It was true that when he saw the both of them having so much fun together at the arcade, his chest hurts. "I don't know, Prussia… I don't think I feel anything towards Lovi."

In the middle of their conversation, someone knocked their hotel door.

"You darlings there? Open the door. I didn't bring my keycard with me."

"Oh~ It's france~ Let me get the door!"

Spain stood up to welcome their other friend, but Prussia stopped him. "Remember what we talked about. They must not know that we followed them around."

"Yes sir, captain sir~" Spain unlocked the door, welcoming the other's arrival. The first thing he noticed was the bags of small items. "Whoa~ Now this is what I call shopping!"

France let the spaniard carry the bags in. He let his tired body fall on the bed, his shoes still on. "Spending the whole day with Romano drained every ounce of big brother's strength away… So. What did you two do today?"

Prussia tried to find a topic to avoid the question, but he failed. "Oh. You know. Walking around then sleeping here the since afternoon. How was your visit to the grumpy italian's house?"

"It went extremely well! He made me pay for the food though…"

"Pay? You guys spent the day outside?" asked the prussian as if he knew nothing.

"_Oui_. Lots of shops then the arcade." France avoided giving too much detail, though he wasn't hiding anything. He already told them that he wanted to visit Romano. "Enough about that. We should spend tomorrow having fun! It's not always that we got the chance to spend time together like this. This vacation on Italy should be spent together!"

Safe. France didn't question about what they were doing earlier that day. "_Ja_! There's a lot of places I want to go!"

"Boooo…. I'm too tired to make the plans for tomorrow… Prussia… You'll be the map holder…" The french lazily rolled over to the other side of the bed, turning the bed light off.

Spain didn't feel like joining the chat. His mind drowned by a feeling he himself were unsure of. An emotion he rather not feel.

* * *

**A/N : I don't know... I wanted to make France and Romano kiss so bad, but that would ruin the story xD**


	9. Ch 9 Charity

**A/N : You can ignore the 'extra scene' if you want to. It's not really important. :3 Forgive me for the late update. I barely have time to write anything actually... **

* * *

Title : Memories Stronger Than Gods

Chapter 9 : Charity

With 6 more days left in his holiday period, Romano sent a letter to his boss, asking for extra jobs that might be available for someone like him. Of course, he wanted a fair wage in return.

His response letter arrived at his doorstep soon after. He was quite surprised for the quick response. He wanted to laze around in his house all day, but his loneliness might drive him insane.

A stranger slipped the envelope under his door. By the time Romano opened the door, nobody was there, only a formal-looking letter under his feet. "Rude bastards…" He lifted the paper and played it around his fingers. "Is it so hard to put this in the mailbox like all the other old postmen?"

He carefully ripped the envelope open and gave a quick glance through the contents. It was about some charity work somewhere around Molise. The trip would take around an hour from his place by plane. The work starts at 5 in the evening. If he went there immediately, he would have 6 hours of free time. "Well, why the fuck not?"

Romano somehow felt the need to tell his _fratellino_. He dialed the other's number. "_Buongiorno_, Veneziano… Just feeling like telling you that your brother will go for charity work in Molise this evening. Aren't you proud?"

"Ve? Where did you get the job?"

"Since I have nothing to do, I generously asked the big boss for extra work." He secretly wished that his brother would praise him. "It's not everyday that we do charity work."

A short pause before the other across the phone spoke. "_Fratello_! That's great! Of course I am proud of you!"

Romano smiled in relief upon hearing the other's happy tone. "Yeah, yeah… Don't do something stupid, okay?"

"Si~ I have no work today! I want to sleep all day~"

The older huffed, rolling his eyes as if his brother was there to see him. "Don't be too much of a lazy fucker."

Only the sound of Italia Veneziano's giggles could be heard before the line suddenly disconnected. "I swear he's a creepy little ass sometimes…" thought Romano to himself.

.

"Ohonhonhon. Look at all the beauties here. Hey, Toni! Let's bait out a couple of dates for us tonight?"

"No way~ I love my baby Italy. But I would love to see you try and find a date with that old wrinkly face of yours, _amigo_." teased the spaniard as he tossed his front hair back. With an embarrassingly dramatic push at France's chest, Spain acted like a knight after victory. "No matter what you do, you'll never be as good-looking as me!"

"Oh, _mon ami_! How could you say that to your dear wife!" The french attempted to steal a kiss from the spaniard's cheek which ended sadly with a footmark to his face.

"Gee, Francis. Of course I love you~" Spain's radiant smile blinded the passers around them. Eating in a restaurant without any proper disguise might be dangerous for them, but they looked plain enough to fool people that they were humans. "But I love you only as a _friend_." He emphasized the 'as a friend'.

France raised the wine glass. "Ouch, Toni… You broke my heart." He turned to his dear albino friend. "Prussia! Spain rejected my declaration of love! Scold him for big brother, will you?"

Prussia didn't answer. He was too busy minding his own business.

"Prussia? Are you even listening?" France poked the prussian's cheeks.

Startled by the sudden touch, the albino almost dropped his phone. "Ah… France…" He shoved his phone back into his pocket. "Yeah. What is it?"

Figured that the matter Prussia busied himself with might be important to him, France discontinued his childish behavior. "Hey, Pru? Who's that?"

"Nobody~" answered Prussia with a deceiving smile. "Just someone who I had a crush on long ago."

"A crush?!" synchronized Spain ad France as they roze from their chairs, slamming their hands on the table. The glasses of wine almost tipped off the table.

Prussia gave them an annoyed glare; one that was quite similar to a certain grumpy italian. "Even the awesome me is capable of falling in love at least once in a lifetime. I think romance is stupid. Nations shouldn't have these feelings. That goes for an ex-nation like me too." He accidentally raised his voice a little bit too much.

The two quarreling buddies silenced down by Prussia's words. It wasn't everyday that the albino talked seriously about something. The people noticed the white-hair ex-nation, looking away to avoid any unnecessary eye contact with a possible thug.

"Chill, _mon ami_… We're just surprised that you actually see interest in love. Last time we talked about our own personal love lives, you're the only little boy who think love is something evil or something."

"Yeah, Gil. You're not the romantic type. Didn't you love your brother?" A innocent cheeky smile carved across the spaniard's face.

Words cannot come out of the prussian's mouth as a bright dash of red illuminated his pale face.

"Oh… I didn't know you're into incest stuff." whispered France. "Don't worry. You're secret is safe with us. Maybe."

"I-It's true that I love my own brother, but nothing romantic, you guys…" Prussia tugged the french's arm closer to him, practically shouting through his piercing red eyes. "BWAHH! You two won't even take me seriously! France! You're going on a date with me! I'll show you how romantic I can be!"

"Oi- Ei- W-What are you planning- Let go of me! Oooiii!"

Too late. The prussian shoved him into a taxi, driving into oblivion for all he cared. Poor Spain once again left alone in a place he wasn't familiar with.

"Sir, are you alright?" One of the waiters asked.

"Si. It appears that they ditched me here."

"I'm sorry to hear that." said the waiter, starting to regret asking in the first place.

"Anyway, since I don't know this place well, do you have any suggestion on where I can find some mild entertainment?"

"Well… There's this one charity show a taxi ride away from here. Something about children's camp and such…"

.

"Fuck ass bastard! Don't you run- Hey! Why did you kick me for?!"

"Wah~ Lovi is angry! Lovi is angry!"

"Bwahaha! I'm goin' to eat Lowi's pwants!"

"Everyone! Stop messing around with my husband!"

"The fuck, you little bastard?! Who are you calling husband?" hissed Romano as he tried to shove the children biting on his jacket.

"Lovino and Claudia sitting on a tree~ K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

One of the nuns approached the italian, waving at the children to make them behave. "Mr. Vargas… We're sorry to make you volunteer like this. Most people would quit after being around them for 5 minutes."

The children finally let go.

"Can't blame them for being children." Romano noticed that the children dressed differently, ranging from torn rags to fancy dresses.

Talking to a fine lady, Romano remembered to mind his manners. "Say… Not to sound rude, but are they from the orphanage?"

A look of distress tore the smile off the nun's face. She waved back at the children who smiled at her from a distant. "No. But yes in a sense. Though they may or may not have fortune in their life, all of them lack the love of family. Mocked by their own blood, they were often sent here when the church organizes any camping activity. Lord Jesus, bless these child. They are alone in this world..."

For a story sad to its core, Romano let out a few short chuckles, trying to muffle his laugh by covering his mouth with the back of his right hand. "They're not completely alone. They have each other. Not by blood, but they are still a family. Social standards can fuck themselves. The children would definitely grow up fine."

The nun felt her own skin growing hot when she caught a quick look at Romano's smiling eyes. "Ah, yes… Very fortunate." She desperately tried to make her leave before the male nation saw her reddened face. "Well… Um… I have some other work to fulfill. J-Just call when you need my assistance." She kept stumbling over nothing as she left in a hurry.

Romano crossed his arms, leaning against the wall with a smile glued on his lips, watching the nervous nun run into the church doors. "Strike another happy lady."

"Traitor…"

"Hah?"

The italian turned towards the high pitched voice, finding a little girl on the verge of tears. The other kids started to shout at the italian, dancing around him as if he was an object of sacrifice.

"Lovino…! Apologize to Claudia! You made her cry!"

"Apologize. Apologize!"

"How can you flirt around when you already have her?"

"Stop flirting with other people! You already have Claudia!"

Romano snapped, tugging the kids by the collar so that they won't move around like annoying fucking monkeys. "I'm not some sort of fictional character! Stop pairing me up with people, jerks!"

"No wanna! We want Lovino to marry Claudia!"

"A match made in heaven…"

"You have to kiss her, Lovino. That's what grownups suppose to do."

Eyeing them sharply, Romano clenched his fist. "The fuck would I do that to a little crybaby?"

Once again, the said girl, Claudia cried. Tears and snot wetted her freckled face.

"Anyone knows how to shut this girl up?" growled Romano.

"Kiss~ Kiss~"

"Told ya! If only you listen to us sooner!"

"She's your responsibility now."

"This is church compound. No adultery…"

"Fucking bastards… C'mere you little fuckers…!" The adult italian nation chased them around. Immaturity took its course. With so many of them to catch at once, he had no way of winning the game.

All in all seriousness, Romano had to admit that he enjoyed the youthful excitement with the kids.

.

Along with the other people from the church, Romano prepared the campfire for their night's final event.

He was given the responsibility to organize the night's final event, so he had the rest of the evening to himself before his working shift.

Sitting beside the small campfire, his mind was at peace.

For some reason, the warmth emitted from the fire seeped comfortably into his bones; the warmth he could only feel when Spain hugged him close.

Shit…

The thought of that fucking spaniard accidentally popped in his mind. He couldn't help but to tremble in anger, gritting his teeth.

Why?

Why now must the thought of the bastard hunt his thoughts?

All he asked was a full day without any unnecessary feelings in his mind.

"Spain, you fuckass jerk, bastard of all bastard…" whispered the italian, his eyes stared emptily through the dancing fire.

He slapped himself hard on the cheek, hoping that the pain would somehow overpower the stabbing emotion in his heart.

One hit.

Not enough.

Another.

Still not nearly enough.

His abusive act upon himself got more severe with each blow.

He needs to be stronger, tougher than this. How can he live through his life if his mind was too fucked up?

He needs no emotions. Accepting everything the way it is was the best possible move he can take.

A silent mutter escaped his breath. "Hehe… Seriously… That jerk…"

All of a sudden, it started raining, dousing the fire lifeless in front of him.

He shot a spit over the campfire. There was no way for the children to have their campfire now.

"Mr. Vargas! Mr. Vargas!" How beautiful the young nun ran towards him. Her clothes sticked to her skin as rain poured heavily down them.

He didn't realized how quick the sudden bullets of rain hit the earth. Droplets glided down the strands of his silky hair. He put his hands in the pockets of his jeans, hoping to keep them warm.

"What could a pretty lady do under God's pouring rain?" He handsomely asked.

There was another dash of pink across her face. Romano loved what he was seeing.

"The new weather forecast… There would be a major storm hitting Rome and Molise. It might last for 2 or 3 days at the least. We have to send the children back before the storm becomes impossible to go through. So severe, even the airport had to temporarily close their service."

'Fuck… I'm stuck here for a couple of days…'

"If you don't have enough people, I'll send some of the children back." Romano smiled.

Sincerely…

"Mr. Vargas…"

"They're inside, right? I'll go get them now…"

The italian rushed to the church's front door, giving the last goodbye wave to his temporary colleague before disappearing from human sight.

.

The church people gave tiny rain coats to the children. All of them assembled inside of the church building before being sent home by their respective voluntarist.

"Will we be okay?"

"I'm scared…"

"I don't want to go home yet…"

The look of depression sunk deep in the 3 children's eyes. They were assigned to Romano to take them home. By the looks of it, either there's nobody home, their parents are assholes, or someone close recently died. He didn't want t ask them though. As a mysterious personification of a massive piece of land, he didn't feel right for indulging deeper into human relationship more than required.

"It's not like I have the choice. I have to send you butts home safely." grated Romano, eyes concentrating out the door.

"But there's nobody home." One of the children spoke. "Mama and papa busy. Not coming tonight…" Being the only girl among the 3 children, her anxiety grew.

_ No… Don't even think about it, Romano… Don't involve yourself too much with humans…_

Romano tilted his head down, his voice softer than a whisper. "What about you two boys…?"

"Parents don't care if I come home or not." said the first one.

"I don't want to talk about it…" said the next.

Dammit! Don't! I said don't! You must not get too involved with them! Don't trouble yourself! Don't trouble anyone else especially Veneziano!

What am I craving for, exactly…?

"Tell you what. Wanna stay with me for 3 days 2 nights? That's the duration of the whole camp, right?" The nation's tone twice as soft as he normally would allowed himself to use. A tint of roughness still floating in his voice; not that he can control it.

The children didn't know what to respond. They were scared, yet happy that someone was showing them a form of affection. Tears of mixed emotion slowly pool up in their big shiny eyes.

Romano jerked closer, holding them close in a loose hug. "Shut it, you little brats. There's nothing to be scared off…"

Just when they were about to leave the church door, the bell sounded with nobody pulling it's ropes.

The nation's brow furrowed, biting his lower lip when the children tugged closer in fear.

"Dear God, the fucking wind is scaring the children. Make them stop…"

.

"So, mind explaining where you're from?" asked the half-naked french.

Spain was standing at their hotel room doorstep, soaked to the bone. That irritating bright smile carved naturally on his face. He left a trail of water, wetting the carpet behind him.

"How is your date?" beamed the spaniard.

"Non. We didn't really go-"

Prussia jumped off the bed and kicked the french from behind, stopping whatever thing he was about to say. "It went great! Just great! Right, France?!"

"Oww! What did you do that for?"

"Idiot! This is supposed to be a secret from Spain!"

The spaniard tilted his head slightly left, confused by all the simple commotions.

Ignoring both of his dear friends' argument, he asked his next question. "Gil, Francis, did Lovi normally do charity works?"

France raised a brow, pulling himself up from the fall. "…? What's with that question?"

Spain sat on the hotel bed as he list out everything he saw at the children's camp; about how the children had fun around Romano till the moment they were forced to cancel the event due to the storm. Prussia just stood there, reading for any hint of 'something' on the spaniard's face. And so, he questioned the other's heart.

"So you saw Mr Brother in action… How do you feel when you watch him interact with his people?"

The spaniard flinched at the question. He looked around the room, searching for the answer.

"Clueless."

Extra scene :

Italy was about to fall back into slumber when a phone call from his brother completely shocked his senses up. "A call in the middle of his holiday?"

He took the call before the fifth beep.

The voice of Romano's rough voice greeting him in the morning made his heart flutter. Despite the times he acted mean towards him, Italy couldn't quite get enough of his brother's scolding. To him, it was a form of bondage only between the both of them that others didn't know about.

"_Buongiorno_, Veneziano… Just feeling like telling you that your brother will go for charity work in Molise this evening. Aren't you proud?"

"Ve? where did you get the job?" Italy felt odd about the situation. One thing for sure, Romano didn't like spending time around people other than official work.

"Since I have nothing to do, I generously asked the big boss for extra work. It's not everyday that we do charity work." His voice sounded boastful. That smile automatically appeared in Italy's mind. How he loved the thought of his dear _fratello's_ smile; and he would do anything to protect it.

But charity work? Their bosses never would never give outside work such as charity. Even if they do give missions like those, they would go undercover as distractions for the real plan to take place. Why didn't their boss send the mission to him too? Undercover missions would be a lot better if both Italy went. Their similar faces made it easy for them to switch places when the other do their own specific tasks.

Italy slapped himself, throwing his own sherlock thoughts aside. "_Fratello_! That's great! Of course I am proud of you!"

"Yeah, yeah… Don't do something stupid, okay?"

"Si~ I have no work today! I want to sleep all day~"

"Don't be too much of a lazy fucker."

The younger italian giggled. As far as he knows, Romano was the one who loved to be a 'lazy fucker'. It was amazing at how his brother changed his working attitude for the better, though he refused to do everything that had nothing to do with his official duties.

Out of his own clumsiness, Italy accidentally pushed the red button on his phone. "Heeek! I've disconnected! Oh well~" A quick recovery from his regret.

He dialed his so called boss next.

"_Ciao_, big boss? …Ah, no. I'm not mad or anything. This is my usual morning voice. I just woke up from a very long nap~"

His brows furrowed, tying to figure out what was actually going on.

"Just a quick ask~ Did _fratellone_ ask contacted you yesterday or this morning?"

Waiting for his boss' answer, he played around with his front hair.

"Oh. So he did ask for extra job, but you haven't given him anything." He chuckled. "So you didn't give him anything because he's been working too hard? How nice of you to treat him special. And thank you for today's day off. _Si_~ I will~ Even if you're the boss, today is your day off too, right? It's okay to be a lazy f-fellow sometimes. _Si_~ _Ciao_~"

Suspecting something, Italy tried to make a hypothesis for their current situation. If their boss didn't give any orders, then who did?

In an extremely lazy motion, he threw his phone on his bed before burying his face into his soft cotton pillow. "Who can I ask for help this time?"

The sun was bright outside. His body begged him to stay in bed, far too lazy to move.

* * *

**A/N : The girl that Lovi invited to the hotel is not Claudia. I dunno why, I kinda hated Claudia's character in general. I don't know why I created her. Probably to make the story more 'normal'? Come one… There's bound to be human interaction in the country's lives every now and then. And don't worry. The 3 kids don't appear much. It's all about the Spamano, right?**


	10. Ch 10 No More Will To Fight

**A/N : I know by now, everyone had forgotten about this story. But I will finish this fic till the end. And after that, I'll update my other stories (finally). Who knew college life is this busy? All my seniors stayed overnight in the college working rooms for a month now. They're trying to finish their projects and had given it their all. As the junior, I should at least stay till 10pm to help.**

* * *

Title : Memories Stronger Than Gods

Chapter 10 : No More Will To Fight

Due to the harsh weather around Rome and Molise, all flights were cancelled for safety reasons. Telecommunication receptions were near impossible as well. Luckily, a certain italian had no work for the next few days, so this little 'storm' won't affect his work life.

The children whom Romano took in built a lovely fort by joining the two king-sized bed and ordered a few blankets for the roof. He had fallen victim to the children's imaginary kingdom and was forced to become the princess.

As a child, Romano never really had anyone to play with. No chasing. No hide-and-seek. Certainly nobody at his side when he was internally broken.

"Princess Lovino!"

"Rawr! Make us breakfast!"

"Or else we eat the curtains…"

"Fuck. Hell no. Just order room service."

Romano wasn't the type to memorize names well, so he gave them nicknames. He called the only girl of the trio 'Uno', the violent and playful one 'Due', and the soft yet silly one 'Tre'.

"Well… I was planning to walk around the city to clear my mind off something. You think you can survive alone here? Just give me a call if something happens."

The three of them nodded. Romano ruffled their hair a bit before taking his keys and raincoat.

"Lovi…?" Tre's voice trembled. "Did someone hurt you…? You don't look happy at all."

Uno shook her head, face almost sobbing. "Is it us?"

"You kids may be three little bastards, but you're no pain." Romano assured them. Whatever it was that he was facing was of his own action. "It's probably my fault for betting my emotions in something I know won't work."

It was his own fault that he let himself accept the red feelings. It was his fault that he spent time with the other.

And it was definitely his fault that he fell in love in the first place.

"We'll protect you… I-I mean… We'll grow up and make sure nobody could hurt you." Due pulled Romano closer and placed a knightly kiss on his cheek. "When you were sleeping, the three of us decided to pledge knighthood for ourselves and protect the Lovi who brought us to this castle!"

'Adorable bastards.' he thought. The imagination and freedom of a child made Romano envious. If only he could play pretend or go on a journey of self-discovery without any worries about the world. "Of course you did. Knighthood… Got it." He nodded before leaving towards the door.

"You'll come back for us, right? Don't get hurt!" exclaimed Due.

Romano turned around for the last time, throwing them a sincere smile. "I have three knights to protect me, remember? There's nothing for me to fear."

.

Prussia and France weren't the biggest fan of rain. They complained and making annoying alien sounds in protest when Spain strongly insisted on spending time around Molise despite the storm that won't be stopping for at least another two days.

So in the end, Spain had to go sightseeing alone ( if there is anything that can be enjoyed with the current weather condition ).

The first place he went to was an art museum. He got free entrance since nobody came that day. The bored guards played around with the paintings which was kind of a surprise for the spaniard. He even joined them in this little game.

"Haha! You're a killer, Antonio! Where do you say you are from again?" cracked one of the guards.

By then, Spain probably touched all of the art pieces that says 'DO NOT TOUCH'. "Antonio Fernandez Carriedo from Spain!"

The second guard lift his beating stick up in the air. "Cheers for Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, warrior of willful and free spirit of Spain! CHEERS!"

The rest of the working staff inside of the museum lifted some sort of item into the air. Spain who had no idea of what was going on smiled, sincerely happy to be of entertainment for the working people there.

His next stop was a candy shop. He didn't expect the sudden strong wind earlier, so his coat and pants got soaked, his umbrella topped over and carried away by the wind to somewhere very far away.

The owner of the shop saw his shaky state and offered him a dry change of clothes, though they were the store's uniform.

"Ah! That's quite alright, sir! I could just walk back to the hotel and get changed!"

"Nonsense! You lost your umbrella, yes? We have a few spares at the back. Excuse me for a sec~" The store-keeper rushed to the back of the building, coming back with a strong pair of umbrella and a set of blue uniform. "Here you go, _amico_. You can keep them if you like."

No matter how much Spain refused, the store-keeper won't take 'no' for an answer. He ended up changing in the store's back room. Quite nice, the uniform looked good on his tan skin, almost like he was wearing casuals.

He thanked the good man for his gifts. In return, Spain ordered a ridiculous amount of marshmellows and had them shipped over to his boss' office.

As he was walking straight on with no heed to directions, he saw a familiar someone sitting on a swing of a nearby park. A curl in sight, his heart fluttered for a few second before dying back when he mistaken the man for his beloved Italy.

"Lovi… What's he doing here without an umbrella…?"

Spain wanted to approach the italian to bid a small greeting, but his chest felt stuffed, his legs refused to take any step closer. His head hurt. The scenery felt extremely familiar.

Something inside of him was screaming for him to remember something important.

Closing his eyes, he ran at the opposite direction from the italian. When quite a distance was between them, Spain slowed down to catch his breath.

What was he doing? Why was he running away in the first place?

He tried to enjoy the rest of the day meeting new people around Molise, but his thoughts were haunted by the sight of the shivering italian alone on the swing.

The more he tried to deny the thought, the more he doubted himself. He wanted answers.

"That's called 'Love', my dear." said the female bartender as she shoved another glass of tomato juice towards the spaniard.

Weird as it was, Spain didn't find it odd to ask a total stranger for advice. In this case - a bartender. "Love? But I love someone else."

"Tight chest, hesitant to approach the other, weird ticklish sensation throughout your body. It has to be love alright."

Spain swirled into deep thought. The cold surface of his drink pricked the skin of his hard hand as the ticking of the wall clock echoed into his ears.

He tried to imagine loving Romano; tried to imagine exactly what his feelings was for the italian.

Sadly, the feeling just wasn't there. He knew it, and frankly, that was the total truth. Zero feelings. Zero emotions.

Miss bartender continued. "If it really bothers you, just go and talk to him."

.

The weird feeling inside of him. What was that?

Spain decided to give the advice a shot. Maybe whatever conflict he was facing, it would need more than one person to solve.

It had been at least four hours since he saw Romano by the park. By the time he went back there, the nation was still there, sitting ever so motionless on the swing, rain pouring strong specifically around him.

Very slowly, he took one step towards Romano. And another. Then the next one.

_ Okay… Breathe… You can do this, Espana. _

"Lovi…" He squeaked. But his voice soon dissolved effortlessly by the rain.

He tried louder. "Lovi!" Still not enough.

"Lov-"

Huh…? Why can't he call his name out? Why did he feel so heavy and full, yet at the same time, empty?

Romano looked at his direction. Spain wasn't sure whether he was crying or something else. His blood-red eyes were swelling. "Ah… Spagna… Never thought I would see you here… Still on vacation with the other two bastards…?"

Relieved. Spain didn't need to think of anything to break the silence. His mind was already filled with chaos and unanswered questions.

The spaniard chirped. "Yup~" Hesitantly, he approached the other from behind, shielding him from the rain with his given umbrella. "More importantly, won't you get sick?"

"I survived ten hours of rain before. I don't see why I can't endure it again." Romano hissed. Despited his poisonous tone, he didn't try to push the other away. He didn't want to fight anyone.

"Lovi… Are you really okay?"

"Yup."

"Do you want to go inside?"

"Mmm…"

"Are you absolutely sure you won't fall sick?"

"Yeah…" A 50-50 answer, but better than nothing.

Spain felt guilty. Somewhere in his heart, he knew that the reason for Romano's behavior was his fault.

"Say, Lovi… Want to hang out tomorrow?

"Sure…"

What's the point? He lost his will to struggle on. Might as well let everything flow as they were, even if it involves Spain.

Spain felt happy that Romano took his offer, but didn't want to end the conversation there. "Want me to walk you back to your hotel? We can share the umbrella~"

"No need… I can drive myself back… I'll just stay here for a while… and take a warm bath later..."

"..."

It seemed that wherever he went, sunshine and warmth follows.

But it won't reach this particular person.

Indeed, he loved Northern Italy more than anyone in the world, but Romano was Italy's older brother. He didn't want Italy's beloved family to be this dark and broken…

To be this pathetic…

He just had to do something.

… … …

_I am not as strong as Veneziano. He is strong enough to take his feelings for Germany to another level and so on._

_Almost all my life, I had been together with Spain, but I never once tried to do anything to him that would establish higher affection for each other. For a long time, I know how he felt towards me, but it was always me who pushed him away…_

_And him pushing me away when I tried to make him stay…_

_Long after the war era ended, I finally have the guts to ask him for a small date for the first time._

_… To confess my true feelings that I bottled up for centuries…_

_But after that… that accident..., I learned that I would only hurt myself if I keep this stupid emotion at heart. No matter what I do, God had always find ways to punish me from being this way._

_In the end, I have to let everything go._

_It just wasn't meant to be._

… … …


	11. Ch 11 First Kiss

Title : Memories Stronger Than Gods

Chapter 11 : First Kiss

Romano sat in front of the dressing mirror, staring into his own golden eyes. Something about his overall appearance changed. His hair was longer, shoulders broader than he last remembered, the cowardice he used to have slowly leaving his eyes.

Of course. What is there to fear if you don't have anything to lose?

He need no other reason to live. He exist for the southern of Italia as well as his other half… At least that was what he convinced himself.

As a country, he was stronger. The bond he weaved between his people and himself stronger than ever, allowing him to have clearer understanding of his people's inner voices.

"I'm going to be alright…" He breathed deeply out, trying to calm the singing excitement throughout his body. But the unfamiliarity beaten his confidence. His voice shaky and nervous. "This is too fucking weird…"

The italian held the emerald necklace given to him by France. Aside from bath times, he never really took it off. It was his only physical source of strength whenever his mind was overflowing with demanding thoughts. A source of patience.

He believed in what France said to him that night. What secret they shared were only known between the two of them. France didn't share anything to the other members of BTT. Romano didn't say a word to his brother either (even though they share everything together).

"Lovi…" Tre squeaked from behind. "Do you have to go? The storm is stronger than yesterday."

"TV said a lot of car accidents happened because of this storm. Don't drive." advised Due as he clicked the remote, turning off the television.

Romano slapped himself lightly on the cheek before turning to face the kids. "I'm fine, you guys. I'll just walk. It's not like I'm going to die from a mere car accident."

Uno popped her head out from under the blankets of their pillow fort, eyes glistering curiously. "That's amazing! Are you immortal, Lovi?"

The nation flinched at the question. There's no way in heaven or hell would he tell three children about the unexplained world of their deathless lives. He managed to croak out a small response, finding no heart to lie to such angels. "Y-Yeah. You can say that."

Being the oldest among the three, Due can be over-protective sometimes. "Lovi… It's not good to joke about death."

"I'm not~" Romano giggled. "Immortality is both a blessing and a curse. Sure, you get to see all kinds of things in this world, but living your life forever in regret-..."

The kids fell silent as they stare at the giggling adult, understanding nothing of the meaning of his words.

Another thing what they didn't understand was why Romano was giggling despite what his eyes showed them.

Tre muttered out a silent sob. "Lovi? Please stop crying…"

.

"So… Who are those kids?"

"Nobody really…."

"For three cute little kiddies, they sure pack a good punch when they saw me."

"Yeah. Uno, Due, Tre have this mindset that everyone who talks to me have hurting intentions. Does it still hurt?"

"I'm Espana~ The punches and kicks won't do much. They have cool names by the way."

"Hmm? Oh, yeah… I gave them those names. Easier to remember. Forgetting stuff would be very annoying… Reminds me of a certain someone, don't you think?" Romano shot a deathly glare at the tan man beside him. Of course, the glare served no purpose as the spaniard was oblivious to the rather specific gesture.

"You seemed disturbed. Is something bothering you?"

"Nah… It's just the rain, I guess… My chest feels a little weird…"

That was not a lie. Ever since that morning, a lot of accidents occurred. He had that light tingly feeling in his lungs. That alone won't be enough to pose a threat to his body, but the sensation distracted him from thinking straight.

"Ah… Molise is in your region, yes? The storm is pretty intense. If you're not feeling well, we can always cancel today's plans."

Both of them carried their own umbrella as they strolled around the town for the past half hour. Spain never ran out of things to say, not breaking a second of the conversation. Romano wondered how the spaniard kept on talking nonsense even thought he had given hints that 90% of what he said were ignored.

_I feel heavy…_

Romano lost his balance, tripping front as he lost grip of the umbrella. His knees crashed to the ground, palms keeping his face from eating dirt. After a few seconds of heavy breathing, he finally wobbled his way up on his feet.

Spain just stood there, frozen, unable to move even an inch to assist the fallen italian.

Why didn't he do anything?

"Lovi… Let's go back… I don't want you to hurt yourself…"

"This is nothing… Probably just the rain." growled Romano. He lazily reached down to take his umbrella. "Ah… One of its frame broke… I have to buy another umbrella later."

"But-"

"I'm fine." Romano shook the other off with a smile. "You should take care of yourself first before asking other people if they're alright."

Spain wasn't sure how to respond. He didn't even know what Romano was trying to tell him. "E-Eh?"

"C'mon. I know a good parlor that sells pretty good gelato. Whenever I go to that place, I would stay around for five or six hours before leaving. The place is like a mini heaven guarded by the prettiest angels around."

"Gelato?"

"I'll be dead if you don't even know what that is…"

.

The two nations entered a food court complex somewhere around the same row of buildings as Romano's hotel. They left their umbrellas with the security guard at the Spain offered a handkerchief for Romano to dry himself up before entering the elevator.

Romano reluctantly grabbed the handkerchief, lightly patting it on his wet hair. "Thanks. Such a gentleman. You're still a bastard though."

"Eh? I think I'm quite charming~"

"If you keep on grinning like my idiot brother, I swear I'll tear your lips off your face."

Literally.

The elevator door opened just in time before the italian shot any more poisonous threats.

"Lovi. If you frown like that, you'll get millions of wrinkles on your pretty face."

"Do I look like I care?" shrugged Romano. "Gelato is waiting for us at the fifth floor. Let's go."

As the both of them stepped inside the elevator, Spain felt unusually nervous. He had a bad feeling about something. The tiny voice behind his head screamed at his to run and leave the italian, never to make any contacts ever again. The voice in his heart told him otherwise, convincing him that his dear Italy would be sad if he were to treat the older brother in such manner.

He eyed the floor level displayed in red, silently counting the seconds passed till the number '5' lit on top of the elevator door.

Or so it should be.

The number continued up 6, then 7, 8.

"Huh…? Why isn't the thing stopping?" Romano repeatedly pressed 'open' to stop at whatever current floor they were on, but the effort proved pointless as the box brought them to the highest floor of the building, opening it's metal gate.

They reached the empty rooftop. The place had a big yellow -H- painted on the ground. Judging by the condition of the place, that particular floor seemed to be abandoned or neglected for a number of years now.

Romano peeked his head out to search around for people. Just like his prediction, nobody was there. Confused, he pressed the button that would take them to the fifth floor. Nothing happened.

"Lovi… Do you think it's broken?"

"Looks like it. Whoever designed this building must be a fucking genius to make the elevator go all the way up to the roof." Note the sarcastic tone in his voice.

With the heavy rain, rainwater entered the boundaries of the elevator, both nation no longer able to stay dry.

Romano felt guilty. He was the one who suggested to come and also the one who pushed the buttons of the elevator. He just ruined their little outing. "Fuck… Sorry… This is probably my fault."

"Nonsense, Lovi. How is it your fault?"

"I pushed the damn buttons…"

"Ah… But it's still not your fault. I was there too, you know? I saw that you pressed '5'. Blaming is not good, Lovi. So don't blame yourself, okay?"

Romano gave a small nod.

"There, there. You're cute when you're this quiet." The spaniard flustered at his own careless choice of words, immediately thinking about the northern half of Italy - his beloved. "I'll search around for while. Maybe there's someone o the roof with us." He stepped out of the only available shelter from the rain, water seeped deep into his clothes.

"Idiot! You'll get yourself wet!" Just like Spain, Romano left the elevator, trying to grab the spaniard by the hand and pull him back in. As soon as he gripped the other's wrist, the door behind them closed. "What the…"

No buttons or any sort of control to summon the elevator back. No people on the street to ask help from. No phone signal to make an emergency call. They were officially trapped on the roof with no shelter from the shouting rain.

"Great… Just great… The thing decides to move on it's own when we just so happened to step off from it. Thanks a lot, God…"

"What are we going to do now…?" asked Spain, very much worried about their exposed state.

"Guess there's nothing else we can do… We just have to wait for someone to notice our absence…"

Romano sat on the ground, his back against the useless elevator door. He hugged himself to stay warm. Though clearly, his efforts were in vain.

Spain sat beside the southern Italy, shifting relatively close so that they could preserve as much body heat as possible. "In situations like this, you're rather calm, Lovi~"

"What in the world do you expect me to do, a triple backflip or something…?" hissed the italian, avoiding unnecessary eye contact.

"Well… I figure that if you and your brother are one Italy, your inner personality traits won't be that far apart."

"What do you mean by that? Then what do you think about Veneziano's so-called inner personality?"

Spain sighed in relief, partially confident that he can fill a few holes between them.

He silently waited for his feelings, his _memory_ of Italia Romano to return.

And maybe, just maybe, he would stop those debate which lacked questions in his mind.

"Let me see… Italy-,"

Romano flinched at the call of 'Italy' flowing naturally out of the spaniard's mouth. After all…

_ I am Italy too… _

"-Italy acts all cute and hug-able towards everyone. He's innocent and kind, and pure at heart. Sure, he's a little slow when it comes to work, but his fragility…" Spain paused for a few seconds, a small smile drawn ghostly on his face. "… his fragility makes you want to protect him, you know?"

When Romano didn't answer, Spain felt deeply alarmed. He held Romano by the shoulder and shook him lightly. "Lovi? Are you alright? Did I upset you?"

"Pfft…" Romano cracked into hysterical; one without strain or pretend. "Hahaha! HAHA! Veneziano? Fragile? He might be all useless and weak, but he's dead scary when he's serious! Man, Spain… You should've seen him whooping ass."

"Eh?! Little Italy did? No way!"

"Yup. He's like England's decorated scones. Pretty on the outside, deadly on the inside. Still, Veneziano is very likable no matter who you are."

Spain covered his flushed face with his hands. Romano could see a flash of adoration and lust in his emerald eyes.

Hell no. There was no way he would let him touch his dear brother that way. Veneziano belonged to Germany. To Germany… Touching. Germany touching his brother.

Romano folded his legs to his chest, burying his face into his arms, face red as a tomato as he cursed himself for having such thoughts.

"Okay, bastard. I know both of us have dirty minds. We need to cut it out."

"Um… Okay…" Spain plainly said.

The two nations sat closely together in silence for a while, letting the cold rain pour harshly on them.

"Say, Lovi?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry…"

"Mmm.. For what?"

"For talking about Italy like that… You are not fond of talking about your brother, right?"

No. In fact, he really _did_ enjoy talking about Veneziano.

"He's okay. It's just that people keep on comparing the both of us. Being the more talented one, he's always the one getting the praise, while I eat his dirt. Not that I mind..."

A knot twisted itself in Spain's heart, somehow wounded… in a sense… "You're fine just the way you are…" His voice muffled by the sheer cries of rain.

"What?"

Spain shot his head up, repeating his sentence louder for the italian. "I said, you're fine just the way you are."

Romano fell silent, dumbfounded by the sudden compliment?

"Yeah, right. I can't do anything right. I make obvious mistakes that can potentially tear a whole big project down. I can't even fight as well as Veneziano. Face it, I'm a loser." All those words dripping out of his mouth carried the truth he believed from the very beginning.

"Lovi…"

"All I want is to live with no regret. But one fucked up thing leads to another. The guilt keeps on piling higher and higher. It's scary to think that you'll have an eternity to handle all that alone… And I can do nothing but to cry and cry and cry like the coward I am…"

"Lovi…"

"Sometimes, it's too damn much to handle. Other times, I don't know what's happening anymore, confusing everything with things that are not meant to be there in the first place. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M YELLING ABOUT RIGHT NOW! FUCK! THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING!"

"Lovi…"

"And-"

"Lovi!" Spain pulled the smaller man close, sealing him in a tight embrace. He gently stroke the other's damp head. The touch of soft hair felt depressingly familiar under his fingers. "Shush… It's alright to let it all out… Just… let it all out… It's fine…"

"… … Sorry…" Romano managed to mutter out. "I don't want you to see this embarrassing side of me… You may hate me if you like…" His voice lifeless.

"I can't bring myself to hate you, Lovi. No matter how you look at it, you look much too similar to your brother." The spaniard whispered with a smile. "And you know how much I love him."

_Dammit! Dammit… Why can't it be me…?_

"Get off me, you bastard! You have my brother now! Why don't YOU show your fucking endless love to him?" Romano struggled hard to break free from Spain's grasps, kicking and twisting as strong as he can. But he was no match for the other's physical strength. I DON'T NEED ANYONE ELSE! I don't need… anyone…"

"Lovi… I love your brother… I really _do_… But I can't just let you torture yourself like this. I want _you_ to be happy too…"

Romano's struggles died down, leaving him lying limp on Spain's chest. His eyes red with tears and rain. "Heh… I need to make up my mind… To take you, or let you go?"

Confusion and doubt. The cycle repeated endlessly in Spain's mind.

Romano tilted his head up, searching for confirmation in those emerald orbs staring back at him. "Tell me, Antonio Fernandez Carriedo… Can I stand a chance against my brother and stand in the same level he is in your eyes?"

"I… I don't know what are you talking about…"

"Figures…" Romano dismissed.

"I JUST DON'T KNOW, OKAY!" He snapped, eyes overflowing with rage. "IF YOU WANT TO KNOW SO BADLY, WHY DON'T YOU FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF!"

"Huh….?"

In a flat second, Spain furiously tugged Romano by the collar, crashing their lips together before melting into a soft kiss. He pushed his tongue further into Romano's mouth, licking and biting his lips in a very aggressive manner.

It wasn't until the taste of blood did he realized of his own reckless action.

He was a fool to let rage took over his conscience.

"Oh, God… I'm so, so sorry, Lovino… I didn't know what came over me." Spain saw blood dripping off from the tip of Romano's lower lip. Fear and regret escalated inside of him, leaving his heart crumbling to bits.

Romano let the blood drip freely, not even bothering to wipe them off. He slowly sat up and lean back against the cursed elevator door. "It's okay… It's probably my fault…"

"Forgive me…"

.

After being trapped there for god-knows how many hours, they were finally found by France and Prussia. Having a special bond to the italian, France somehow sensed Romano's cry for help. He followed his instinct which led them to where Romano was.

Spain went back to his hotel room with Prussia while France offered to take Romano back to his own room. Uno, Due, Tre waited patiently for his return, panicked when Romano came back with a bloody lip.

"Why don't you three lovely kids find Lovino something warm to wear while big brother wash him up, oui?"

Making no move to fight back, the kids nodded and left the two alone in the bathroom.

Romano didn't say a single word since France and Prussia found them on the roof. By that time, the elevator worked fine, but still function only from inside.

France unbuttoned Romano's shirt and lead him into the bathtub before turning on the heated shower.

"Do you want to tell big brother what happened?"

Romano weakly shook his head, half of his face covered by his bangs as he let his gaze fall onto the porcelain floor of the bathtub.

"Well… If you ever feel like talking, big brother will always be there to listen." France softly whispered, no wanting the other to feel 'forced'.

Romano sat down in the tub of pooling warm water. France used the hotel soap to scrub the italian's shoulder and back. He remembered how he used to bathe Canada when the quiet nation was still small. He can't help but to smile.

"Romano… Sometimes, I wish that you can be my little brother forever." France's brotherly sense kicked in. "Close your eyes." He squeezed a generous amount of shampoo on his palm, then rubbing Romano's scalp in a circular motion.

"…ss…"

"Hmm?" France let the shower rinse Romano's silky brown hair. He moved his face closer to meet Romano eye to eye.

"He kissed me… It was my first too…"

France sparked with sincere joy, patting the italian by the shoulder. "Isn't that great then? It's what you always wanted, first kiss with the one you love!"

"That's the thing… I don't think I love him like I used to…"

"But… why?"

"I have come… to hate him…"

France couldn't believe what he was hearing from Romano. "Romano. You don't know what you're saying. Give a little more time to sort things out before jumping into empty talks!"

"This is not empty talk…" Romano started sobbing. The insides of his chest were ripping apart, exposing nothing but pain and sadness.

France squeezed the italian's hands, reassuring him that everything will work out. He was and will always be there for support. He figured that it was best for him to stay silent and let the other rant whatever remain in his devastated heart.

"The kiss he gave me… was full of hatred, rage, and love for someone else…"

* * *

**A/N : Even though I have to rewrite this chapter three times, I really enjoyed writing it. It was just so much fun~**

**I never really put my appreciation for you readers in a formal way, right? **  
**Thank you. Thank you everyone for reading this story. At first, I didn't know how this will turn out since it started as a group rp but never really continue after the point of Spain's amnesia. But seriously, thank you for your time and I do hope you enjoyed the read. And special thanks to those who took extra time for dropping wonderful feedbacks! It makes me feel all tingly inside. **

**And yes... I know... Spain is being an ass in this story ;A; France is being all big brotherly and Prussia is being Prussia. **

_**~ Thank you for supporting this story.**_


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